Loss Of Sensation
by Ghostfish
Summary: Sequel to Can't You See Them? - Ianto is on the road to recovery, but a freak accident turns the tables on his rescuer, rendering Jack helpless and in need of rescuing himself... J/I and the rest of the team. T for language. x
1. Two Months On

Prologue

**A/N **– I was never going to write this, you know. I had no intention of carrying on from 'Can't You See Them?' But I got so many requests for a follow up that I thought it was worth a shot, and so I sat around, had a think, and this is what I've come up with. It's dedicated to each and every one of you who asked for it, and to everyone who left me reviews for 'Can't You See Them?'. Your thoughts on it meant loads to me, and I hope you think this sequel was worth it. It has a distinctly lighter edge to it, though it does contain a certain amount of angst as Ianto is in recovery.

To all new readers – it's worth reading 'Can't You See Them?' first as it's the parent of this.

Much love to you all. **xGhostfishx**

**Disclaimer** – Does it say Ghostfish in the Torchwood titles? No. I know, I have the box set and I've checked it thoroughly.

**Loss Of Sensation**

Chapter One-

Two Months On

'Ianto!'

He looked up at the sharp call, attention distracted from the new heat signal detection program he was helping Tosh with. She'd had a brainwave of sorts about their standard detection system which currently only picked up warm or moving objects. This newer version she had come up with would include the ability to detect disturbances in electrical impulses as well, making some species, especially of the cold blooded or invisible variety, easier to track.

Ianto met Owen's gaze, the head of the doctor the only visible body part above the lip of the mortuary pit. 'Owen?'

'You know I love you.'

Ianto sighed tolerantly. 'What do you want, Harper?'

Owen grinned his wide grin. 'Coffee.'

'Make it yourself then.'

'But it's shit when I make it. I'd rather lick a Weevil.'

'What you do down there is your own business,' Ianto called back, making Tosh giggle quietly as she tapped away beside him, entering streams of code quicker than the eye could see. Owen merely winked at the two, obviously in one of his irrepressible life-is-wonderful moods that nobody ever had the choice of not joining in with. At least this type of Owen made a change from the days you'd get grumpy, impossible Owen, Ianto mused to himself, raising an eyebrow at the medic as he started bobbing up and down, giving his head the striking appearance of a target at a fairground shooting range.

'Oh go on. You'd never let me near that machine anyway,' Owen reasoned.

'Not after last time, no.'

'Look, that was ages ago. I didn't _mean_ to leave the fudge on it.'

'Hours of my life lost completely, scraping that out of the filter.'

Owen put on his best insincere sorry face. 'Please? Does it help if I say please?'

'No, that just frightens me.'

'Ianto...' The last vowel was drawn out, pleading.

Relenting in the face of such effort, Ianto offered his trademark almost-smile. 'Alright then. Give me a minute to finish up here.'

Owen cracked a grin again and disappeared back into his pit. The squelching sounds that had been floating from the area all morning were enough to put the entire team off going anywhere near the mortuary. But the doctor seemed happy enough in his work, despite the multicoloured and unidentifiable stains that now adorned his white jacket.

Tosh gave Ianto leave after about five minutes and he made his way to the coffee machine on the gantry.

As he waited for the silver behemoth to whistle, Ianto slipped into his own little world as he quite often found himself doing, the constant quiet hum of the working subterranean base comforting, the brief interlude in the working day allowing for contemplation.

It had been two months now since that day in Roundstone Woods. Two months since he'd been so intent on shooting himself that he'd lost sight of everything else. It still made his stomach twitch in fear every time he thought of it, which was mostly during these quiet moments when he was waiting for the coffee machine, or in the dim solace of the archives.

He could still remember the weight of the gun in his hand, the solid line of the trigger pressing into his finger. Had the rest of the team not shown up he'd have been two months dead by now. Stored down in the freezers like so many others, stored and catalogued by someone other than himself. Death by Torchwood.

Because he would have done it. Absolutely, unequivocally. Ianto had had every intention of burying that bullet in his head on that chilly morning, scattered sunlight playing over the crunchy leaves around him. He had wanted to die.

Two months on, and it was at times like these as the coffee machine started to whistle that Ianto wondered why he was still here. This was a feeling that was quite familiar, one that he had become used to thanks to the slow build-up of feelings that had led him to those first thoughts of suicide.

What surprised him more and more these days was that he _wanted_ to be here.

This he hadn't expected. For a couple of days after the incident at Roundstone Woods, Ianto had been sedated and under observation at the Hub. For a week after that, he had been conscious and under observation. It was during that week that he'd begun to feel things again. Anger. Irritation. Why the hell had they stopped him? _Why the hell had they stopped him! _He vaguely remembered at some point during that confusing time that he'd grabbed Owen and shaken him, screaming those exact words into his shocked face. Owen had reacted swiftly, the wiry little man stronger than he looked, pinning Ianto back down on the mortuary bed and sticking a hastily retrieved syringe into Ianto's arm. The world had faded away again as the sedative took effect.

But that stage had passed quickly. Ianto hadn't attacked anyone else, instead reverting to a calm, embarrassed sort of recovery as fragments of memory from that day had started to come back to him. The regular sedation during those first few days after the event had provided its own sort of protective amnesia, which initially had caused the Welshman to lash out at the team for supposedly Retconning him. But as it had started to drift back, fragments of memory, Ianto had begun to realize what had happened to him.


	2. Insignificant Things

Prologue

A/N – Don't worry, this story gets going eventually. I needed to set myself up with an idea of Ianto's progress before I started on anything else, which explains the slow start. Much love to everyone reading **xGhostfishx**

**Loss Of Sensation**

Chapter Two -

Insignificant Things

Filling up mugs with each team member's beverage of choice, Ianto took the tray back down to the workstations. Hanging over the edge of the mortuary pit, not really keen on getting any closer to the mess of non-terrestrial body parts spread below, Ianto leaned over the handrails and handed Owen a steaming mug.

Owen grinned, an unusually genuine expression for the doctor, and placed the mug next to several jars on a scalpel tray. Ianto noted that one of the jars contained a liquid that was a similar colour to coffee, and hoped vaguely that Owen wouldn't make an obvious mistake.

'Happy now?'

'Thanks, Ianto. You and Tosh finished yet?' the doctor asked, squinting at what may at one point have been a leg with a thoughtful expression on his face.

'Not quite, could be a while.' Ianto balanced the tray in one hand, eyes roving the entrails, feeling slightly sick. No matter how many clean-ups he performed as resident Torchwood cover-up specialist, no matter how many times he had scraped alien parts from the streets of Cardiff, he never could get used to the methodical dissection and arrangement that Owen was so fond of. Explosions he could deal with. Blood was a doddle, whatever colour it was. But the cool, collected slice-and-dice operations were something that he'd never felt entirely comfortable watching. No wonder Owen had a warped sense of humour.

'Do you need her for something?' Ianto asked, referring to Tosh.

'Nope, I was just wondering if you two would be finished while the pubs are still open.' Owen frowned as he spoke, all the rest of his attention fixed on his hands as he carefully removed what looked like a fin and laid it on another tray.

Ianto swallowed thickly, looking stubbornly at the opposite wall rather than at the sticky scene below and taking a step back towards the stairs. 'Should be. Good luck with...whatever that is.'

The only reply was a mumbled 'Hmmm' as Owen lost himself in the work once again. Ianto made a grateful exit from the pit, turning back at the last moment just in time to see Owen reaching blindly for his mug and picking up the wrong one. The resounding gagging sound that followed Ianto away from the mortuary made him grin. He deposited his and Tosh's mugs at her station before heading for the stairs for his last stop.

Ianto found himself musing again briefly as he climbed the stairs to the main office. The situation at work had definitely changed. It was nothing major, after all, Torchwood was still Torchwood, hauling you through each day with no mercy or sign of slowing down. It was just little things, really. Small changes that Ianto had noticed that made the difference.

People _asking_ him to make coffee, rather than demanding it. The thank yous, voiced openly rather than just assumed. Apart from Owen in some cases, but then miracles were not to be expected even in this line of work. The team now socialized occasionally outside of the Hub, just the odd pub trip as Owen had just suggested, or packet of greasy chips down at the water's edge. They'd even been to a rugby match on one occasion.

Tosh of course had found the Millennium Stadium box office security system easy enough to hack through, and had secured the team front row tickets on the centre line as soon as they'd gone on sale. When Gwen had inquired if Tosh could do the same with Glastonbury tickets, Owen had quickly piped up that if Gwen was allowed four days off to piss about in a field with a pack of hippies, he should be able to take time off to watch the Cardiff Women's Beach Volleyball competition. This had descended into an argument until Jack had strode in and forbade anyone from mentioning it again. However, later on, Ianto could have sworn he overheard Jack asking Owen about the dates of the volleyball competition.

Daft things. Insignificant things. _Normal_ things, even.

It was still difficult of course, every day the memory haunted him. That image of Lisa backing away from him in the clearing as Jack had held him down was one that would last, that much he knew. That had been the moment he'd truly accepted that she was gone, living now only in his memory.

But Ianto could walk into work now and not feel as if all eyes were suspiciously watching him, waiting for him to put a foot out of line. Jack still watched of course, still kept an eye trained on him, but even that was different. It was concerned. Watchful, but not intrusive. Ianto felt cared for rather than spied upon.

Ever since _that day_, every member of the Torchwood Three team had seemed a little closer. It was the only word Ianto could think to describe it, though that wasn't exactly it. They were more aware of each other maybe, more receptive to each other's needs, moods, that sort of thing. In particular in regards to Ianto himself, and he felt more a part of the Hub crew than he ever had before.

'Here, sir.' Ianto placed the mug in front of the Captain, who was poring over a computer readout, brow furrowed in concentration. The look was lost instantly as it was enveloped in a grin, one hand reaching for the mug as he looked up at Ianto.

'Thank you. I was about to come and ask, actually.'

'I expected that. Every half hour I get this...feeling.'

'Reading my mind again, Jones?'

'No need. It's all based on experience.'

Jack laughed. 'You know me too well.'

'Can't have you living off of something as mundane as oxygen now can we sir?' Ianto shot back, the almost-smile widening a little. 'Excuse me, I have to get back to Tosh.'

'See you in half an hour,' Jack called as Ianto shut the door. He allowed himself a small grin before making his way back to Tosh's workstation.


	3. Therapy

Prologue

**Loss Of Sensation**

Chapter Three -

Therapy

Ianto still saw them occasionally, the ghost-like figures that had become his constant companions leading up to the suicide attempt. It had scared him at first, his mind still fragile from sedation and the breakdown he'd slowly come to realize he had been through. The last thing he wanted was a relapse, he was barely feeling strong enough to recover from the first time round, let alone a repeat performance.

It wasn't quite the same though. The figures did not specifically manifest as they had done before, and they certainly no longer spoke to him. They weren't even solid now. But occasionally, just occasionally in the corner of his vision Ianto would see a bright shadow.

When Ianto had confided in Jack the week after he was allowed to leave the confines of the mortuary pit that he was still seeing the ghost-creatures, Jack had been more than understanding. He had even explained to Ianto what it was that he had been seeing, providing an answer when Ianto had thought there was none other than the fact that he was losing his mind.

But having seen them himself, having actually experienced what Ianto had been seeing that day in the leafy clearing, Jack had the best idea of how to explain it. It seemed that Ianto had some latent empathic ability that he hadn't been aware of, and in his grief over the loss of first Lisa and then Jack, he had somehow managed to create physical manifestations of the people he missed the most, people who had truly cared for him and who he thought would understand his isolation if they were still around. They had become his companions, his self-made defence against his own loneliness. As he'd spiralled deeper into thinking that he was completely alone save for the ghosts that appeared to him, he had managed to convince himself through them that he would be better off dead than invisible in life.

Ianto understood that now. He understood that he'd hit a wall of depression and had tried to create his own way out, removing the responsibility of such a decision from himself and giving it to these ghosts. It had become too much, all the pain and the loss.

Two months on now and the pain, though still there, was under a veil of control. It was easier to deal with than he'd thought now that the others knew. They didn't think he was mad, or stupid, and they still trusted him. They'd been through their own traumas, they all understood that all life forms, human or otherwise, were not infallible. Everyone suffered, everyone screwed up. And everyone needed someone to bring them back from the edge every so often.

That's what Jack was doing for Ianto.

Ianto leant back in his chair as Tosh set about running a test program, nattering away to Gwen in the meantime about weddings and suchlike, subjects that Ianto found easy to tune out of. He sipped his coffee, tilting the chair back precariously onto two legs and allowing his eyes to lose focus as he waited for the program to finish. His gaze wandered up to the glass-fronted office that overlooked the rest of the Hub, taking in the figure of Jack as he sat at his desk, head leaning on a balled fist, chewing on his bottom lip while concentrating on whatever it was that was on his desk. Ianto blinked as Jack looked up suddenly and caught him staring, offering his slightly embarrassed observer a wide grin before returning his attention to the desktop.

Ianto smiled to himself, hands cradling his mug. Jack appeared to be on a kind of personal mission when it came to the rehabilitation of his secretary. It was infuriating sometimes. Ianto simply wasn't used to the kind of attention he was suddenly receiving, and his being a private sort of character caused the new interest in his life to grate a little. The worst bit was the mock-therapy sessions Ianto had been forced to participate in. Jack had outright refused to involve anyone outside of Torchwood, as the use of Retcon after every session would make any time with a psychiatrist utterly pointless.

No, Jack wanted the situation dealt with internally. And so naturally, Jack had become a makeshift therapist. Oddly, Ianto would probably have preferred Owen to take up that title had he had a choice about it. The brash manner of the doctor would have been infinitely preferable to the hours he spent with Jack.

Ianto felt ridiculously awkward in front of Jack now. The Captain had seen into his mind after all, had _felt_ what Ianto had felt, _seen_ what he'd been seeing. Ianto had always kept a measured distance from the Torchwood Three crew; after the Canary Wharf battle he'd been reluctant to get too close to anyone again. The loss of so many people he was close to had been so painful that he'd put up a barrier against that kind connection with anyone in Cardiff. Torchwood dealt with death every day, and Ianto didn't feel he was strong enough to suffer loss on that scale again. So he'd kept them away; Jack, Tosh, Suzie, Owen and Gwen.

But Jack had broken through that wall that day in Roundstone Woods., had been inside Ianto's mind. He'd discovered Ianto's weakness and his pain, had broken through the control barriers Ianto had meticulously constructed around himself and had found the man inside. A small, terrified, lonely man.

It was hard to look the Captain in the eye during the first couple of therapy sessions in the glass office. The sheer embarrassment that Ianto felt now that he realized he was the source of his own problems was hard enough to deal with. It was difficult to know you had been so weak in front of someone so strong.

But Jack had been kind. They didn't have set times for these sessions, nor set lengths. There was no real structure to them. Jack merely pulled the Welshman aside during the quieter moments at the Hub, sat him down and just...talked. Not even about the Roundstone incident a lot of the time, just about life in general. Ianto had been confused at first, but as time had passed he had cottoned onto the fact that Jack wasn't forcing anything out of him. No direct questions about his state of mind, just gentle probing to give an overview of the situation that could then be used to access deeper thoughts and emotions. Eventually Ianto noticed that he was opening up without even realizing it.

And it got easier. The first time they had done it had lasted less than ten minutes, with Ianto so obviously uncomfortable that Jack dismissed him. Now, they could both sit with a cup of coffee, or wander up to the harbour and talk by the water's edge. As much as he had tried to reconstruct those walls of defence, Ianto found he actually liked the fact that someone was taking an interest in him again. Jack asked him about everything, no subject was off limits. He even allowed Ianto to ask about his own past sometimes, though the information Ianto gleaned from the odd question about the heritage of his Captain was still scarce.

After a while, Ianto stopped seeing it as 'therapy' and more as a friendship. They'd never developed a bond like this in the past, even when they'd slept together it had been more a physical need for comfort than a meeting of minds.

But now there was something else. The help Jack offered was something Ianto as very grateful for, and he sincerely hoped that he would be able to find some way to repay the Captain some day.

Little did Ianto know that the opportunity was going to present itself sooner than he realized.


	4. Interior Decoration Extra Terrestrials

Prologue

**Loss Of Sensation**

Chapter Four -

Interior Decorating for Extra Terrestrials

_beepbeepbeepbeepbeep_...

Ianto looked up from his makeshift desk area, frowning at the sudden noise that echoed off the walls of the Hub. 'What's that?'

_beepbeepbeepbeepbeep_...

Tosh was frantically fiddling with a piece of equipment she had been working on all morning, from which the noise was emanating. The tiny artefact had turned up on the beach in Cardiff Bay, another rift refugee that had found it's way to Torchwood. Nobody had any idea what it was so far, not even Jack for a change, despite his usual uncanny talent for guesswork when it came to weird objects of non-terrestrial origin. The device was about the size of a pear and much the same shape, glossy black in colour, and from outward appearances showed no signs of being in any way technical.

Until it was picked up, that is, as Tosh had discovered by accident.

As a rule the team generally handled all unknown items retrieved with gloves until they were confirmed as safe to touch, but in a moment of forgetfulness Tosh had picked the black pear-device up to move it out the way of something else she was working on. It had immediately lit up on contact with her skin with what looked like hundreds of minuscule pinpricks of light. Tosh had felt it activate, as if touch were the power switch it required, and said it was humming very slightly as the rest of the team had gathered around cautiously. Ianto had been fascinated by the simple beauty of the object nestled in Tosh's palm, the tiny lights changing colour every so often.

When the others had tried it, the pear-device had gone black and silent again in each of their hands. It remained stubbornly dark and unresponsive in the grasp of Owen and Ianto, and had emitted a low hum that had sounded distinctly unhappy when Jack had taken it, causing him to pass it quickly back to Tosh. In Gwen's hands it had glowed briefly before going quiet again, refusing any further glittering or humming until back with Tosh.

'So, it only likes girls,' Jack said, eyebrow raised as the pear-device lit up again happily in Tosh's hand, giving off the same contented hum. 'Who'd have thought technology could be prejudiced too?'

Ianto watched as Tosh observed the small object she held with delighted fascination, turning it around and around in her hands. A gadget that responded to her personally – a dream come true for a techie like her, Ianto thought with a small smile. A gadget that _likes_ her.

'Best pet you could hope for,' Owen said with a smirk. 'Want me to sort you out a litter tray for it, or do you think it's trained?'

Tosh gave Owen a withering look that seemed to delight the doctor, and put her new friend carefully down next to her monitor, where it quietly balanced. She ran a finger along it and the device shivered, purring almost imperceptibly and leaving a trail of tiny lights where her finger had connected with the surface before fading out as the contact was lost. 'I'll try to find out what it is. But whatever it is, I'm keeping it. It's not going in the archives,' she added, with a pointed look at Ianto.

Ianto held up his hands. 'I'll just catalogue it. It would be a shame to pack away something so pretty anyway.'

Apparently boring a little of the conversation, Jack shoved his hands in his pockets as his eyes wandered distractedly around the rather grim room. 'Well, it brightens this place up whatever it is.'

'Maybe that's what it is,' Gwen said, raising an eyebrow. 'A decoration. Like an alien version of a lava lamp.'

Owen snorted. 'Oh right. Interior decorating for extra terrestrials? It may be big and exciting but the rift does send us some crap sometimes. Why do we never get a really big gun?'

Ianto rolled his eyes, still watching Tosh as she contined to study the pear-device. 'Judging by your success rate with the singularity scalpel, I doubt you need anything as mundane as a gun.'

Owen glared and the few choice words he replied with caused the girls to gasp in disgust. Sensing danger from his female co-workers, and irritated by Ianto's smug look, Owen quickly changed the subject.

'I bet you had a Tamagotchi, didn't you Tosh?' he said, arms folded.

Tosh nodded, eyes still fixed on the pear-device. 'I did. I reprogrammed it though.'

'You did? What did it do?' Gwen asked.

Tosh smiled. 'It's still alive, I keep him on my hard drive.' She tapped a few keys and a tiny, pixelated creature that resembled a bird with a snout appeared on her top right monitor, skipping across the screen and making small _peep peep_ noises.. 'It's been alive for eleven years now, I just move it around with me. I know it's silly, but it cheers me up.'

Gwen laughed and patted Tosh's shoulder. 'I have a teddy bear that Rhys gave me on my desk. He used to live on my desk at the station too, and...'

'Alright, alright!' Owen interrupted in exasperation. 'I'm sorry I mentioned it. Jesus, I had no idea you two were so bloody _girly_.'

Gwen shot him another dangerous look. 'I may be _girly_, Owen Harper, but I can handle any gun that drops through time and space better than you can. And what is it you call that stupid cactus in the mortuary that you're so protective of? Isn't it..._Harold_?'

Owen quickly lost the annoyed look and switched to defensive. 'It's a plant! Not a silly toy!'

'A plant with a _name_,' Jack pointed out, now sitting on the sofa with his legs up on the table. He'd been listening in amusement to the rest of the team, still impressed by the sentimentality humans seemed to posess over the oddest things. Although he had to admit, the birdy-snout-monster on Tosh's screen was rather adorable. 'A plant with a _man's_ name.'

'A plant that you talk to,' Ianto added before he could stop himself, offering a small penitent smile as Owen glared daggers at him, colour draining from his cheeks. The doctor turned on his heel and stormed off, mumbling something about childishness and idiots, amongst various expletives.

Attention back on the pear-device as Tosh stroked it again, Jack eyed it thoughtfully from his position on the sofa. 'Find out what it is, make sure it's not just a really pretty grenade or something. Keep me informed.'

Tosh nodded, and they left her to it.

Now it was two days later and suddenly..._beepbeepbeepbeepbeep_...

'It's not done that before,' Ianto said, moving cautiously towards Tosh's desk.

'I don't know what it is, I wasn't even touching it!' Tosh said, once more desperately searching for some kind of button or opening, anything to give her a clue. But no luck. Scans had turned up nothing, endless probing had revealed no way into it, no clue as to it's construction. She had reluctantly given up that very morning, content to keep it on her desk while she got on with other things. And now after two days of silence, the shrill beeping for no apparent reason.

Jack stuck his head out of the office, a frown on his handsome face. 'What's it doing? You forget to feed it, Toshiko?'

'I don't know Jack, it just went crazy!' she cried, staring at it and willing the pear-device to be quiet.

_beepbeepbeepbeepbeep_...

'That's really irritating!' a voice called from the mortuary pit.

'Shut up, Owen!' Tosh snapped in a rare moment of anger towards the doctor. Owen's surprised face appeared above the edge of the pit, genuinely taken aback by the shout. Tosh had apparently grown more attached to her new companion than they had realized.

Jack appeared at the desk and held out a hand. 'May I?' he said, in a tone meant to be both helpful and to placate his distressed genius. She held out the pear-device gingerly and it went dark in the hands of the Captain. The beeping continued but took on a much darker tone.

'Sir, are you sure you should...I mean, it didn't seem to like you last time,' Ianto said, eyeing the beeping menace warily. Jack hadn't touched it since that first time, and it was now emitting a high pitched whine as well as the staccato beeping sound.

_beepbeepbeepbeepbeep_...

Jack stared at it, holding it at arm's length. Gwen looked at him nervously. 'Jack, maybe you'd better put it down...'

Before he could respond the whine notched up to an ear-piercing level and the pear-device started to vibrate violently in Jack's palm.

The Captain's eyes went wide. 'Ah.'

'It's going to explode, get down!' Owen shouted melodramatically, ducking out of sight into the mortuary pit. The others payed attention however and dropped to the floor just in time.

No such luck for Jack though. As the pear-device detonated in his grasp, he was thrown backwards with the blast, slamming against the Torchwood tiling and sinking down onto the worn couch.

It was over as quickly as it had happened.

Ianto scrambled to his feet and ran towards Jack, Gwen and Tosh right at his heels. 'Jack! Jack, are you alright?'

As the purple clouds of smoke cleared, a very dazed Jack stared up at Ianto as the Welshman skidded to a halt in front of him. Ianto was worried that he'd have to deal with another resurrection saga, which always involved a lot of painkillers and, for some unknown reason, a lot of hot chocolate. But when Jack blinked, Ianto breathed a sigh of relief. The Captain appeared to be stunned, but nothing more, sitting spread-eagled on the couch as if he'd just kicked back for a rest.

'Jack?' Ianto said softly, waving a hand in front of his face. 'Can you hear me?'

Blinking again, Jack focused on the younger man with some considerable effort. 'I guess a Big Bang joke is inappropriate?'

Ianto rolled his eyes, relieved. 'He's fine.'

Owen was crouched next to Jack, automatically checking pulse, reflexes and such. 'Yeah, but he shouldn't be. By rights he should have no arms left, judging by the state of Tosh's desk. There's not a scratch on him.'

They all glanced up at Tosh's workstation for the first time. It was a complete mess. Monitors were smashed, the desk itself was broken in half, listing in the middle at an angle that threatened to drop the contents to the floor at any second. Ianto quickly scampered over to slap at a few bits of paper that were merrily dancing with flames, putting out the burgeoning fire. 'Bloody hell,' Ianto murmured, staring at the mess. 'Jack, you should be dead. Again.'

Jack pulled himself up stiffly, rotating his shoulders carefully just to make sure. He shook his head and moaned, putting a hand to his temple. 'Yeah. Lucky me, just a headache this time.'

'You should go and lie down,' Owen suggested, eyes still methodically working the Captain over for any signs of injury. Suspiciously, there seemed to be none. 'Jack, you must be one of the luckiest people alive. You should be dog food.'

Jack raised an eyebrow ironically. 'That's me, indestructible. I think I will go and lie down though. This headache is a killer.'

Sniggering at his own joke, and under the concerned eyes of the rest of the team, Jack climbed up to his office stiffly, not completely unaffected by being hurled across the room.

'I'll bring you some painkillers, sir,' Ianto called up after him, receiving a brief wave in return.

The four watched him go, disappearing down into his chamber beneath the office.

'Well, that was...bracing,' Ianto murmured, looking over the disaster area that used to be Tosh's station.

'Sorry about your pet, Tosh,' Owen said with a sigh, and with not a small amount of genuine feeling. Tosh herself looked terribly sad. She looked up in surprise at the comment and offered a small smile.

'Thank you. I just wish I'd found out what it was,' she said regretfully.

Gwen put an arm round her reassuringly. 'At least you still have your Tamagotchi.'

'He's survived worse than this,' Tosh smiled, making her way slowly to her station to start the substantial tidy-up operation.


	5. Role Reversal

Prologue

**A/N** – This chapter is dedicated to Tigerdust, you lovely thing. x

Thank you to everyone that has reviewed, it's amazing and flattering to receive so many positive comments! All concrit is also welcome. **xGhostfishx**

**Loss Of Sensation**

Chapter Five -

Role Reversal

Ianto climbed the stairs to the main office, some of Owen's industrial strength painkillers clutched in one hand, a glass of water in the other.

Tosh was busy searching for her backup files, while Gwen organized more computer equipment of the un-charred variety for her. Ianto had felt largely useless, as Tosh had such a specific way of doing things that the rest of the team were made mostly redundant. The smile on her face when her apparently immortal Tamagotchi creature skipped onto her new monitor and made a quiet _peep peep_ sound reassured Ianto that she wasn't too distressed about losing her other, rather prettier toy. After helping with the clean-up operation (one, he had noticed, that Owen had managed to avoid almost completely), Ianto had excused himself to check on Jack.

On entering the office, Ianto found it quiet as he'd expected. Jack had to be in bed then. Carefully, Ianto descended one-handed down the ladder into Jack's cramped bedroom and found the Captain spark out, fully dressed on the bed. A bed he never bothered making by the look of it, Ianto noted with disdain. Jack was snoring softly, he hadn't even taken off his heavy boots.

Ianto put the glass down on the cluttered night stand and shook the sleeping man's shoulder lightly. He wanted to get the painkillers into him, just to make sure any residual damage from the short haul flight across the Hub was made as comfortable as possible. Immortal he may be, but Jack was still just as susceptible to colourful bruising as the rest of them.

'Jack? Jack, wake up, take these.'

The snoring stopped and Jack stirred at the sound of Ianto's voice, opening an eye, searching out the cause of his rousing. On seeing Ianto he immediately opened both eyes and offered a brilliant smile that seemed out of place in the dingy room, clearly pleased to see his visitor. 'Take what, exactly?' he asked.

Ianto sighed tolerantly and held up the pills. 'These. Take them now and you can go back to sleep.'

Obediently (for a change) Jack sat up and swallowed the pills, chasing them down with a generous amount of water. Ianto sat next to him and watched, still concerned. Jack's movements were slightly stiff, but it was nothing major.

'What, no Scotch?' was the only complaint as Jack finished the water.

'I didn't think it wise.'

'Spoilsport.'

'Are you sure you're alright?' Ianto asked.

Jack nodded, a reassuring grin on his unusually pale face. 'I've had worse. Usually at my own request, but...'

'Too much information, sir. As usual,' Ianto said, halting him with a raised hand.

'I still haven't made a Big Bang joke.'

'Believe me when I say that it's really just the thought that counts on that one,' Ianto replied hastily. 'Though I'm sure it would be very witty and packed with innuendo.'

'You're no fun.'

Ianto put on his well-used deadpan face. 'That's a lie. I'm hilarious.'

Jack looked at him in mock seriousness for a moment, eyes betraying his amusement before another grin split his face. 'So, now you're here, are you staying?'

'I don't think that would be appropriate, do you?'

Jack fixed him with a stare loaded with ulterior motives. 'I never said it would be appropriate.'

Ianto had to look away, feeling his will begin to cave in the face of that look. Jack always seemed to know exactly which buttons to press, he hadn't even touched Ianto and yet the air seemed charged, electrified.

It was too much. Though he wouldn't want to admit it, Ianto was still fragile after everything that had happened in recent months and he didn't think he could handle anything more complicated in the delicate balance that was his life at the moment. Getting involved with Jack again was too complicated. Simplicity was the way forward.

For now, anyway, Ianto checked himself. Being sensible was all very well, but he should at least give himself an escape route from it...just in case.

Getting up and straightening his jacket, Ianto fixed a smile on his face. 'I'll leave you to it, sir. Get some sleep, and we'll see you in the morning.'

Although visibly disappointed, Jack looked a little respectful too, as if he understood the decision. It wouldn't have surprised Ianto at all if the man had heard everything he'd just been thinking, though he doubted it. He hadn't felt Jack intrude in that way since Roundstone Woods, and he had the feeling that it made Jack uncomfortable to establish such personal contact with another person. Open minded he may be, but only figuratively speaking. It was a shame in a way because much as Ianto wanted to forget that day had ever happened, he missed the feeling of being that close to someone else. Of being understood completely, not having to hide.

There was potential, though, Ianto thought to himself. Perhaps he'd strike lucky one day.

'I'll see you later, Jones-Ianto-Jones,' Jack said, the pet name that nobody else understood adding a genuine tweak to Ianto's smile as he climbed out of the small chamber. Jack watched him go before turning over, and was almost instantly asleep.

The following morning came and Ianto was early as usual, padding down the bleak stone stairwell to the main Hub _en route_ to his morning caffeine hit. He was lost in thought as the enormous cog door rolled back, so much so that the lone figure of Jack standing in the middle of the Hub surprised him. He knew Jack would be there of course, but he was usually in the office or still down in that makeshift bedroom area when Ianto got in. He'd always appear shortly after, grinning and cracking a joke, or complementing Ianto's choice of shirt for the day. But this morning he was just standing, staring up at the leaking rivulets of water that tracked lazily down the central shaft from the monument above. He wasn't even dressed as usual, merely in trousers and a white t-shirt without the trademark braces and coat. His hands were in his pockets and his back was to Ianto as he walked in.

The sound of the door alarms didn't cause Jack to turn, and Ianto, frowning, slowly walked over to join the stationary figure in front of the corroding metal pillar.

'Good morning Ianto.' The voice sounded somehow flat in the echoing main chamber.

'Sir? Are you alright?' Ianto couldn't quite place it but there was something...off. Something indiscernible didn't feel quite right.

Jack merely shrugged. 'I'm not sure.'

Concerned, Ianto quickly surveyed the Captain as he stood, his thousand-yard stare fixed at some unknown point. There didn't appear to be anything obviously wrong, so it must be something else. Something had happened. There was an aura of...well, _nothing_.

Ianto's frown deepened. Usually there was a cloud surrounding the Captain, his usual euphoric, infectious charisma coming off him in waves, obvious to anyone even if they didn't have Ianto's heightened awareness of emotional states. He'd always felt it, not just around Jack but around most people, and thanks to the happy episode in Roundstone Woods he now understood why.

But this morning it – whatever _it_ was - was missing. Ianto could have been standing by a cardboard cut out.

'What's happened?' he asked tentatively.

Jack turned, his usually sparkling blue eyes dim with worry. 'I don't know. I just...it sounds stupid, but I can't..._feel_...anything.'

Of all the things Ianto had expected, that certainly wasn't one of them. 'You can't feel anything?'

'That's what I said isn't it?' Jack snapped back. Though the tone was definitely angry, Ianto couldn't pick up on anything like anger in the air. Jack was shut off completely.

Jack softened, as if realizing his outburst was completely unnecessary. 'Sorry, I'm just a bit freaked out.'

He held out a hand to Ianto, which Ianto took without thinking. Physically, Jack felt as normal as Ianto had expected. His hand was warm, solid. There was a pulse. But Jack just shook his head, eyes trained on the joined hands.

'I can't feel you.'

'What?'

'I can't feel your hand. I can't feel _my_ hand. Nothing.'

Ianto looked at the man, not sure what to say. 'Is this...everywhere? All of you?'

Jack nodded and Ianto could see the first indications of fear in his eyes. But again he couldn't _sense_ it. It was very weird. He'd gotten so used to picking up on the general emotional state of people around him that he never actually thought about it any more. Its sudden absence caused Ianto to actually think about his own ability, which he never normally gave much thought to. Without it, the person opposite was a stranger, a mystery. Unpredictable.

'It's everything,' Jack said, his voice husky. 'I can't feel myself, I can't feel what's around me. I can pick stuff up and move around, but it's like I've been anaesthetized.' Jack looked Ianto in the eye questioningly. 'Can you? Feel anything I mean?'

Ianto shook his head, knowing Jack was thinking the same as he was. 'No. It's strange, like looking at someone on the TV. You're just an image.' Noticing how disappointed Jack suddenly looked, Ianto made a face. 'Sorry. What about me? Can you get anything from me at all?'

Jack sighed. 'Nope, not a thing. Though at a guess I'd say you're thinking about that coffee machine of yours.'

'I was, but I'm more concerned with you at the moment. Do you think it could be something to do with that explosion yesterday?' Ianto asked. 'Maybe it's a kind of amnesia for your nerves?'

Jack shrugged, looking so disheartened that Ianto wanted to reach out and comfort him by drawing him into a hug. However, as Jack wouldn't feel it, Ianto wasn't sure it would be beneficial. 'I don't know what it is. All I do know is that I feel like a ghost,' Jack said.

'Well, I can assure you that you're most definitely here,' Ianto said in what he hoped was a reassuring tone. He smiled at Jack. 'And you have sweaty palms.'

Jack's mouth twitched a little, Ianto's dry comments serving to settle him a little as he looked at their joined hands. 'That's just because you're here, Jones.'

Ianto's smile widened. 'Don't make me search out the harassment in the workplace guidelines again, sir. Would you like a coffee?'

Jack's face fell again, and he dropped Ianto's hand. 'I've already had one. I can't taste it. Which frankly, is a crime when it comes to your coffee but probably something of a blessing with my own attempt.'

Well, at least that skewed sense of humour wasn't completely defeated yet, Ianto thought to himself. That had to be a positive sign. He checked his watch. 'Owen should be in soon, you never know, he might be able to help.'

Jack rolled his eyes. 'Wonderful. At least when I've been groped by doctors before I could feel it. He could do anything, and I wouldn't even know about it.'

'He could give you a tattoo and you'd never know.'

'Right this minute he could do a conscious autopsy and I'd know nothing about it until he holds my liver up in front of my face,' Jack pointed out, a distinct amount of gallows humour in his voice. 'I know it sounds silly, but will you stick around when he examines me? I don't trust him not to mess with me.'

Ianto raised an eyebrow. 'And you trust me?'

Jack regarded the younger man for a moment before replying. 'You're the only one here with enough maturity not to draw on my face if I drift off to sleep in this state. So yes, I do trust you.'

'Alright then. And I'll put the marker pens in a safe place sir, don't worry.'


	6. Soaked

Prologue

**A/N – **This chapter is for **Solsbury Girl** who sent me a rather lovely PM. I couldn't find a way to reply through your profile, so consider this your thank you. x

Thank you to everyone who keeps reading, and to everyone who has reviewed. I say again, this story is all your fault, so I'm glad you're all enjoying it! **xGhostfishx**

**Loss Of Sensation**

Chapter Six -

Soaked

Owen was stumped.

Jack had all but leapt on the rather hungover medic as soon as he'd walked in, demanding Owen's immediate attention and hauling Ianto in his wake. Ianto wasn't sure if he'd ever seen Jack quite this manic before, eyes wild, never staying in one place for very long. This new hyperactivity was rather a contrast to the still figure Ianto had found in the Hub earlier that morning, causing Ianto to wonder just how Jack was coping with this new development.

After staring at Jack as if he were mad, then laughing like a hyena as Ianto quite blatantly removed all permanent drawing implements from the area, Owen finally gave in to the pressure and ordered Jack to sit on the infirmary bed while he performed all the relevant tests he could think of. This proved a little difficult as his patient was so fidgety, causing Owen to threaten said patient with the restraints that were so conveniently provided as standard on the mortuary pit bed.

Owen continued his tests on a more sedate version of his boss, and was obviously a little insulted that Jack insisted on Ianto staying with him to protect against all practical jokes.

'Honestly, don't you trust me Jack?' Owen snapped at the Captain when he refused to let Ianto leave. 'I'm a bloody professional, you know!'

'It's not your professional ability that I doubt, Harper, it's your bedside manner that makes me nervous,' Jack shot back, refusing a cotton swab to put pressure on a syringe puncture. Ianto swallowed heavily as he watched the tiny mark on Jack's arm disappear before his eyes, the skin completely clear in seconds.

'My bedside manner is perfect, thank you,' the medic grumbled, labelling three vials of dark blood and turning away to file them for later use. Jack raised an eyebrow at Ianto in amusement, an expression that was returned with a small smile. Owen turned back just in time to miss the exchange and regarded Jack with a dark expression, thinking.

'Right, full body scan then, God help me.'

Jack grinned. 'I thought you'd never ask.'

The rest of the standard tests were administered throughout the rest of the morning, and for once it was a good thing that all was quiet on the Rift front. Owen behaved himself well enough for Ianto to leave for five minutes, now desperate for something, anything with caffeine in it. However, when Ianto returned with two mugs of chronically strong coffee and a glass of water for Jack (keep him hydrated at least, Owen had said), he was just in time to catch Owen who, with a look of complete fascination on his face, was standing behind Jack and about to poke an unnecessarily large needle into Jack's shoulder.

'Jack! Attacker at one o'clock!' Ianto shouted.

Jack reacted immediately, spinning round on the bed and slapping the doctor upside the head. Too slow to get out of the way, Owen yelped and dropped the needle.

'I was just...'

'I know what you were just. And now you're just cleaning out Weevils for a month,' Jack sniped, accepting a glass of water from Ianto, who himself was grinning at Owen, unable to help himself.

Sensing his defeat, Owen glared at the easier target. Unfortunately for him, a simple 'Piss off, Jones,' was all he could come up with as he rubbed the reddening side of his face. With that out of his system, he returned to his tests.

Eventually, when Owen had done everything he could think of, he still came up with a blank, pending the results of Jack's bloods. Gwen and Tosh had looked mystified, immediately applying themselves to any relevant research but coming up just as empty-handed as Owen had done.

It was early afternoon and Jack was now lounging back on the sofa in the communal area, arms folded across his broad chest, a glare etched on his face. He'd spent the time between tests and research pacing around the Hub, cursing every so often as he lost his footing or failed to co-ordinate a hand in order to hold something. His mood was rather dark compared to his usual self, and his temper had been growing thinner all day as solid results, or even just a hint of a clue, failed to appear.

Ianto knew Jack well enough to see that the man was having to force himself not to snap at the rest of the team as they each delivered their findings, or non-findings as was the case.

'Okay, so let's start again from the beginning,' Gwen said slowly, leaning forward in her chair opposite the sofa, elbows on her knees. Jack had refused to come into the conference room, not for any particular reason but nobody had wanted to argue with him when he wouldn't budge from the battered sofa. 'You woke up this morning and...'

'And I couldn't feel anything,' Jack reiterated, looking at Gwen as if she were thick. 'For the hundredth time, I don't _know_ what happened. I wasn't drunk, I wasn't drugged that I know of, I didn't mess with anything that's come through the rift. I didn't sleep with anyone unusual, mores the pity. I didn't leave the Hub at all, and nobody got in either. You've all checked the CCTV. _Nothing. Happened_.'

Gwen blew out her cheeks in a sigh. 'Well, I'm out of ideas.'

Jack threw up his hands in mock celebration. 'Great! Wonderful! Owen, stop it.

Owen blinked. 'What? I wasn't doing anything!'

'You keep looking at me like that.'

'What? Like what?'

'Like you want to dissect me and put bits of me in labelled jars,' Jack said, his voice taking on a distinctly dangerous tone. Owen looked appropriately guilty.

'Sorry, I can't help it. You're just so _weird_...'

Ianto stepped forward. He'd been listening to the various conversations all morning, moving from place to place, trying to get some kind of overview. He was no clearer on what had happened than the others were, but he had the feeling that they should keep an eye on Jack considering his darkening mood. For someone as naturally tactile and hands-on as Jack usually was, this must be killing him. Ianto was concerned not just for the state of the Captain's body, but for that of his mind too.

'Look, we'll keep trying,' he said out loud causing everyone to look up at him. It wasn't a spotlight Ianto felt particularly comfortable in, but one he was becoming more used to as he spoke up more. 'Tosh, can you check again for any Rift activity at all? Absolutely anything, no matter how minute. I know you've tried already but can you look again?'

Tosh nodded at him and scurried off towards her bank of computers. Ianto turned to Owen. 'Is there really nothing else?'

Owen shrugged, looking lost. He was clearly annoyed with himself for not being able to come up with anything so far, Ianto could feel the disappointment in the air. 'Nothing that I can think of. There's still a couple of results I'm waiting on but I don't think anything will come of them. I'm sorry Jack, but I don't think it's medical.'

Jack just continued to glare.

Owen made his way back to his lab, mumbling something incoherent as he usually did when he couldn't find an answer.

Ianto turned to Gwen who was now standing, hands on hips. 'Can you try the files again?'

She nodded. 'There's a stack I haven't got to yet, you never know,' she said, almost apologetically before she walked off, leaving Jack sprawled on the couch and Ianto hovering uncertainly, feeling a bit lost as to what to do himself.

Jack looked up at him, a small smile appearing on his lips for the first time that afternoon. 'You're quite commanding when you want to be.'

Ianto shrugged awkwardly. 'I just want to help. You've spent so much time helping me...'

'That's different,' Jack cut him off. 'You've been through a lot. This is just some kind of accident, it's not life threatening.'

Ianto raised an eyebrow. 'That's not the point.'

Jack continued looking at him for a moment before getting up, walking towards the entrance to the Hub. Ianto watched him go silently, wishing he could tell what was going through Jack's head. With a sigh, he climbed the stairs slowly to the kitchen. He needed some strong coffee before heading down to search the archives for some kind of clue.

An hour later and Jack still hadn't reappeared. Ianto had re-emerged from the archives to find Gwen up to her nose in files, frowning and chewing on a pencil, Tosh tapping away furiously at her desk and Owen wandering round and round the mortuary pit talking to himself. Himself or the cactus, Ianto mused. As it was still an unfathomably quiet day, all attention was currently focused on the mystery of Jack. Unfortunately nobody had made any more progress than they had earlier. Having had no more luck than the others and still with no sign of Jack, Ianto decided it was time to find the Captain and bring him back. It couldn't be good for him to coop himself up in his office, he was already grumpy enough without the added joy of having nobody to take his mind off the situation.

The office was empty, though. Finding that the entire rest of the Hub was also empty of their boss, Ianto ventured outside onto the small docks that surrounded the Tourist Office. It was raining steady and strong, the surface of the water speckled under the assault of raindrops and the planking slippery. Drawing his coat tighter around himself against the onslaught, the Welshman searched the docks as quickly as he could, not wanting to get too wet if it wasn't necessary. Boats clunked dully against their moorings as Ianto moved swiftly over the wet surface of the wood, and it was at the end of one of a jetty that he caught sight of someone staring out across the bay. Taking in a deep breath of the salty air, Ianto joined the lone figure, his hands stuffed deep into the pockets of his steadily dampening jacket.

Ianto realized immediately that Jack was soaked through. His coat hung heavily on him, water dripping from the hem, and his dark hair was plastered to his pale face.

'It's raining, sir,' Ianto said quietly, unnecessarily.

Jack shrugged. 'I can't feel it though, can I? I'm not even cold.'

Ianto could see the Captain's breath as it escaped him, warm clouds in the chilly air. He seemed to be watching the few gulls brave enough to weather the stormy skies, eyes following them as they dipped and cried to each other above the choppy water.

'You'll catch a chill out here.'

'And at no point will I be able to feel the snot dribbling down my face.'

Ianto wrinkled his nose. 'Thank you for that image sir, that's lovely.'

Jack remained silent, eyes still following the gulls overhead. Despite the humour in his words he was obviously not happy at all. Ianto felt a little useless, not sure what to say.

'It'll be alright you know. We'll figure it out.'

Jack raised an eyebrow sceptically. 'What if there isn't anything to figure out?'

'What do you mean?' Ianto asked, frowning. He was starting to shiver as the water soaked through his clothing, withdrawing a hand from his pocket every so often to wipe away the rain threatening to drip into his eyes.

Jack turned to look at his companion, his eyes tired, betraying several hours of brooding. 'What if this is just another part of me? What if this comes with not dying?' He stared at Ianto for a moment before looking back out across the bay, as if he hadn't meant to say something that was quite so telling of his emotional state. The worry was clear as day on his wet face. 'I mean, I still age, don't I?' he continued, apparently deciding Ianto could be trusted with his fear. 'What if I lose everything along the way? Some people go blind or deaf when they get older. Some people can't even move for themselves. What if I lose it all? Every sense, gone. How can I live an eternity like that? I had trouble climbing the stairs to get out here because I can't feel my legs. What use am I if I can't even climb stairs?'

Ianto was struck dumb for a moment in the face of such a statement of vulnerability. Without thinking about it he reached across and took one of Jack's dangling hands in his, twining his fingers with the Captain's.

'You're freezing,' he said.

Jack frowned and looked down, a deja vu moment from that morning. 'Ianto...'

Ianto pulled the sodden American into a hug, trying to transfer some unfelt warmth into the other man who, by rights, should be shaking with cold.

'You'll be alright, Jack,' he murmured uselessly, not knowing what else to say. All he could think was that if it were him in this situation, he would want company.

Ianto's Bluetooth earpiece bleeped and he let go of Jack to switch it on. 'Yes?'

'Ianto, it's Tosh. I think I have something, are you with Jack?' came the reply.

'Yes. We're on our way.' Taking Jack's hand again, Ianto tugged him along the jetty behind him, desperate to get back into the warm. Jack complied silently, leaving Ianto nattering just to fill the silence. 'Tosh thinks she's found something, come on. And you need to dry off, you're soaked.'


	7. Dust

**Loss Of Sensation**

Chapter Seven -

Dust

Ianto dragged Jack back into the Hub and joined the rest of the team who were already crowded around Tosh's rebuilt workstation. Tosh had apparently been scanning the CCTV yet again, frame by frame to make sure nothing had gotten into the Hub overnight and attacked Jack. On running the footage further back to the exploding pear incident, she had finally hit on something she deemed relevant. This was all explained in one long rush, making Ianto's head spin slightly before Tosh turned back to her ever-reliable screens and loaded the CCTV feeds.

As she ran the footage back the others saw what she meant.

The pictures showed the now familiar lead up to the explosion. Tosh frantically fiddling with the artifact, Jack taking it from her. They all, watched their past selves, minus Owen who had of course been in the pit, duck away from the explosion, and saw Jack fly across the Hub in it's wake. Nothing too unusual, apart from the entire incident itself being out of the ordinary.

'So?' Jack asked impatiently, failing to see the point. Gwen, Owen and Ianto exchanged glances which all said that they had no idea what it was they were looking for either.

'Didn't you see it?' Tosh asked them, as if surprised that it wasn't obvious. 'I'll slow it down, here. Watch again.'

The footage ran again, and as they watched the slow-motion replay of Jack flying back to hit the wall, they cottoned on to what Tosh had already seen.

The pear-device had not exploded into pieces; that they already knew already from the cleanup. It had disintegrated to dust, most of which had been peppered across the floor and Jack's clothes. But as they saw on the slowed down CCTV, some of the dust appeared to gather together and make a beeline for Jack, following his flight path across the Hub and crashing against him as he hit the wall. It then seemed to be absorbed into him, the cloud that surrounded the stunned Captain becoming thinner as it sank into him, causing what looked like a slight glow before the footage showed the team running in slow motion towards the sofa. It had been easy to miss in real time but more obvious when slowed down.

'What the hell was that?' Owen asked, voicing what everyone was thinking, wide eyes flicking to Jack warily as if the man were about to develop a second head.

Tosh shook her head, eyes alight now that she had finally discovered something. 'I don't know, but it _is_ a starting point. Something in that thing has gotten inside you, Jack. I have no idea what it is or why it did it, but I'm willing to bet that's probably what's causing this.' She frowned as she finally took in Jack's appearance. 'Is it raining outside?'

'What gave it away?' Jack replied stiffly, collapsing onto a chair, his wet coat dripping small puddles on the floor. 'Right. So how do we get this-dust-out of me? That's the next question. Normally I wouldn't have a problem with an alien life form being inside me, but...'

'Jack!' Gwen moaned. The Captain looked suitably penitent, but Ianto knew that he wasn't sorry at all. He flashed the Welshman a small grin, which Ianto returned before turning his attention back to Tosh, pleased that Jack's sense of humor did still exist under the brash and rather damp exterior.

Tosh shook her head again, eyes losing none of their brightness. 'I'm not sure, but I'll work on it. I have some samples of the dust left over, and Owen will run some tests on it with me to see what we can find out.' She reached over and put a hand on the Captain's arm. 'It's a step in the right direction, Jack. That has to be worth something.'

'Yup. You're a genius, Sato, don't let me down.'

'What about me?' Owen asked. 'I'm a genius too.'

'You're not as pretty as she is though,' Gwen smiled, chucking the doctor under the chin. 'We'll get on it now Jack.'

Jack nodded, but didn't reply. Despite the jokes he was still pretty upset, and it showed through in his damp face.

The team deployed to their stations to work on the new discovery.

Ianto looked up from his desk as he heard Jack swear loudly, cutting through the working hum of the Hub. His eyes were a little warped from staring at page upon page of molecular breakdowns that Owen had given him to look over, and he had trouble focusing straight away at the scene. He'd been completely engrossed in the numbers, trying to sort the data into something resembling logic when the string of profanities disturbed his flow.

After some heavy blinking, his vision sorted itself out, and what Ianto saw caused him to raise a hand to his mouth, stifling a snort of laughter.

Jack was standing by the entrance to the mortuary pit and glaring at Owen, who had his best innocent face pasted on. His back was to Ianto, which gave the Welshman a clear view of the large A3 target that was currently taped to the Captain's shirt. Obviously one of the team (that member presumably being Owen, given the way Jack was standing in front of the man), had snuck up behind him and stuck it to Jack without him noticing.

It had been three days now since Jack had lost all feeling, and this was the latest in a line of pranks designed to mess with the missing sense. Stupid, childish pranks that Ianto had not been involved in on a matter of principle. Jack had told him he trusted him, and this wasn't something to be taken lightly after everything that Ianto had put the team though. The team were of course taking the matter as seriously as possible, but the natural in instinct to mess about that they all possessed was bleeding through as it usually did, resulting in an increase in silliness.

Despite his lack of involvement though, Ianto couldn't help but find a couple of the jokes funny. He was only human, after all, and truth be told he was bored stiff of the reams of data in front of him, so any distraction was welcome. Even stupid distractions. Jack had fallen asleep in the conference room the day before, causing Gwen on a whim to grab the nearest food item to her (in this case, a jar of Marmite) and spread a line of it on Jack's top lip. The Captain had spent more than an hour with a sticky mustache that he could neither feel, taste or smell, and was wondering why the team were having trouble keeping straight faces around him before catching sight of himself in a reflective panel and realizing the problem.

Today, it seemed, was target practice.

Jack turned away from the pit and started to make his way to the office when something flew past the Captain and landed with a soft squelch next to Ianto's foot, spectacularly missing the paper target. Jack span around to see what had made the noise, his face livid, as Ianto eyed with distaste the small mass by his foot that looked suspiciously like a kidney. He despaired of Owen sometimes, the man had a sick streak wider than the rift itself.

'I know you're throwing stuff at me, Harper. I can't feel it, but I can hear it,' Jack was saying, looking in the direction of the pit again. 'And if I find out it's you who has been using body parts as missiles, I will _not_ be pleased.'

Owen's head popped up above the edge of the pit. 'I don't know what you mean.'

Jack looked positively murderous as Owen desperately tried to keep a blank look. 'The hell you don't. Trust me on this, as soon as I get some feeling back in my hands I am going to take great pleasure in the sensation of closing them round your throat.'

Owen's facade of innocence faltered a little and he promptly disappeared into the mortuary pit again.

Jack turned around and eyed each of the team, the look on his face nothing short of terrifying. 'I'm telling you now that this isn't funny anymore. The next person I catch taking the piss will be forcibly locked in with that nice Carluthian warrior we found last week. He must be real angsty by now.'

With that, Jack stalked off towards the office. As he passed by, Ianto reached out quickly and snatched the target off his back. Jack looked round and Ianto sheepishly offered a smile, holding up the paper. Jack glared and grabbed it, screwing it up and hurling it full force towards the pit, where it disappeared.

'Oi!' came a shout, but it was ignored as Jack stomped up the stairs in a spectacular huff, slamming the door to his office behind him.

Ianto winced at the noise and looked round to find Owen had reappeared in fits of giggles. Gwen was stifling her own laughter, her face buried in paperwork. Tosh tutted at Owen but couldn't hide a twitch at the edge of her mouth.

Forcing back a smile himself, Ianto tentatively scooped up the spongy missile and deposited it in the bin, washing his hands thoroughly before returning to his desk.

The Hub was quiet that afternoon, each member of the team lost in their own projects. Owen had bored of the Jack problem now and was busying himself with various labeled jars containing alien specimens. Having come up with nothing from the sheets of numbers he'd been working on, Ianto handed his results over to Tosh and decided to check on his absent boss who hadn't rejoined them since the morning's target practice session. He climbed the stairs to Jack's office, taking a deep breath before knocking on the door. Jack had been in a foul mood after the incident earlier, there was no reason to expect it had changed after a few hours of hiding away in the office. The fact that he was pacing up and down whenever Ianto looked up from below through the huge glass windows was also a dead giveaway.

'What?' A shout issued from inside as reply to the knock, the thick patterned panel of the door obscuring Ianto from view. Ianto winced at the tone and pushed open the door, holding a mug of coffee in front of him as if it were an impenetrable shield. The office was a mess, papers and various stationary all over the floor, a cup overturned on the desk. In fact, the only thing that didn't seem to have been touched was the tiny glowing piece of coral, pulsing away under the small glass dome o the desk.

Jack turned to face his visitor, standing with both hands planted on his hips and wearing a face that radiated thunder.

'I brought you this,' Ianto said in a placating tone. 'I know you can't drink it really, but I made it without thinking.'

Standing by the floor-to-ceiling windows that made up two sides of the office, Jack huffed, his mouth a grim line. 'Great. The best coffee in the known worlds, and I can't taste it. I'm starving, but I can't eat. Well, I _assume_ I'm starving, I haven't eaten for three days but I can't feel any hunger pangs. Have you got any idea how hard it is to eat when you can't feel to swallow?'

Ianto put the coffee down and straightened, hands linked behind his back. He'd been expecting this sort of tirade, he'd become used to them whenever he'd spoken to Jack over the past couple of days. 'Yes sir, you were complaining very loudly about it yesterday before you threw a slice of pizza at Gwen.'

'Well, she deserved it!' Jack snapped defiantly. 'Sarcastic cow, I've no need to watch my weight. You don't mess with this level of perfection! I can't stand to watch that lot merrily stuffing their faces when I can't have any.' Jack gestured out at the rest of the team obliviously working downstairs. 'They ordered my favorite pizza on purpose too, the bastards!'

'To be fair to them, they weren't actually aware that you can't eat properly. And you only ever order a Hot American so as you can make the same joke each time about sharing an affinity with it. They just ordered the usual.'

'They're still bastards,' Jack grumbled, folding his arms petulantly across his chest.

'Then I'll tell them to get curry in the future, I know you hate curry.'

Jack stared at Ianto for a moment, completely at a loss for words in front of the cool manner of the younger man. Then, for no apparent reason, he burst out laughing. Ianto smiled, achieving the reaction he'd been hoping for. Snapping Jack out of his self pitying reverie was the first step to getting him back to normal.

'Ianto Jones, it's times like this I remember why I hired you,' Jack said, taking a deep breath and grinning.

'I thought you said you liked my suit, sir.'

'That and your stunning resume.'

Ianto cocked an eyebrow in disbelief. 'You read my resume?'

'Well, I looked at the picture...'

'You'd already met me in person before I gave you my CV.'

'I never said the picture was used for professional purposes.'

Ianto held up his hands, the direction of the conversation telling him everything he needed to know. 'Alright, alright, enough. I wanted to see if you're okay, and apart from making more of a mess than usual you're obviously doing alright.'

Jack's smile faded a little. 'I suppose. I'm just getting annoyed now. It's amazing how much is based on touch. I've never really thought about it before. I can't type properly, I can barely write and playing that-' he indicated the small basketball hoop attached to the office wall opposite the desk '-is pretty much impossible. I can't co-ordinate my hand if I can't feel it. I'm useless.'

'You're not useless sir...'

'Yes I am Ianto. I can't chase aliens, I can't even find my own gun on my belt.' Jack suddenly looked horror-struck. 'Oh, my God.'

Worried by the sudden change of tone, Ianto took a step forward. 'Sir?'

Jack's eyes met Ianto's concerned ones. 'Ianto, how the hell am I ever supposed to have sex again in this state?'

Letting out a heavy sigh, Ianto stood down his worried setting to tolerant mode. 'I might have known.'

But instead of grinning as if it were a joke, Jack continued looking genuinely horrified. 'What will I do? I can't believe I've only just thought of it!'

'I'm sure you'll manage. Some of us mere mortals go years without, you know.'

Jack snorted. 'Yeah, well not _this_ one. I'm not even mortal, I'm an exception.' Jack's expression changed suddenly and he looked at Ianto again. It was the look of a predator. 'Unless...'

Regretting taking that step forward now, Ianto swallowed nervously. 'Unless what?'

'Unless...' Jack took a step forward himself, arms now hanging loosely at his sides and his face wearing the look that Ianto knew all too well. It was the look Jack got when he was about to pounce, either on an alien target or his next conquest.

Oh, I'm in trouble, Ianto thought briefly.

'Ever read fairy tales, Ianto?' Jack asked, his voice taking on a far more sensual vibe as he took another step towards Ianto. Ianto in turn moved back towards the door, confused by the question.

'Uh...yes, some. Why?'

'Well...' Jack said, drawing out the vowel sound. 'Doesn't everything in fairy tales get fixed with a kiss? And as this whole thing is surreal enough to be a fairy tale...' Jack tailed off, eyes trapping Ianto.

Ianto blinked rapidly. I'm _really_ in trouble, he thought again, as if the mere thought would somehow magically stop what was happening. Being this close to Jack for the first time in a long time was making him panic, still unsure if he could handle letting Jack back into his world again. The memory of Jack's disappearance was still painfully fresh.

At this point though, it didn't look like he had a choice in the matter. Jack kept on coming. Backing Ianto up against the door completely, (a door that inconveniently opened inwards and was therefore useless, he noted briefly) Ianto found his face just centimeters from that of the Captain.

Jack grinned. 'Let's see if it works, shall we?' With that he captured Ianto's mouth with his own in an inescapable kiss, pushing the younger man firmly up against the door.

Ianto melted instantly into the familiarity of it, unable to stop himself despite his reservations. He reached up and pulled Jack closer to him, feeling Jack's arms encircle his waist in return and noticing that even after all this time, it felt like coming home.

After a moment Jack pulled away and rested his forehead against Ianto's.

'Anything?' Ianto gasped, trying to regain some oxygen and a vague sense of dignity. Why did half the office have to be glass walled?

Jack was breathing heavily, teeth gritted together. 'Nothing. I can't feel you at all.' His eyes gazed imploringly into Ianto's, a spark of hope there. 'What about you?'

'Well, sir, I...' Ianto stammered. 'It was...'

Jack rolled his eyes and smiled grimly. 'Look, I know I'm a great kisser, that's not what I'm asking. Can you feel _anything_ from me?'

Overwhelmed by the proximity of the other man, Ianto struggled to think clearly. All he wanted to do was throw himself back at Jack, but for the sake of his sanity at the present time he thought it best not to. Jack wasn't really thinking straight after all.

'I thought for a minute I got something, but I'm not sure,' Ianto managed stiffly. 'It's hard to separate the physical from the spiritual when you're that close,' he added, almost to himself.

The other man swore loudly and moved away, freeing Ianto from his grasp and pacing the office again.

'I could try again if you want,' Ianto ventured bravely before he could think about it. Jack stopped pacing and looked at him. Then he smiled again, this time without the irritation.

'Ianto Jones, are you flirting with me?'

Ianto swallowed thickly, feeling the heat in his cheeks which he knew would be a bright red colour by now. 'I apologize sir, I'm aware it goes completely against all of our sexual harassment policies but in the interest of trying to assist a colleague I thought I'd offer anyway,' he said in one long breath.

Jack laughed softly, his face softening. 'I wish I could take you up on your offer but it seems a waste if I can't hold you down properly.'

Ianto raised an eyebrow. 'Just a thought.'

Jack smiled wolfishly before leaning one-handed on the desk. The smile slipped a little and he closed his eyes for a second. That wasn't right, Ianto thought, frowning a little and moving away from the door.

'Sir? Are you alright?'

'Just a bit dizzy, that's all.' The Captain stood slowly and made his way to his chair were he sat down heavily. 'Too much excitement.'

Ianto studied the man, concern shoving all other confused feelings aside. 'You said you haven't eaten for three days so it's no wonder. If you really can't eat I'll get Owen to sort out some vitamin injections.'

'Is that necessary?' Jack asked, looking dubious about letting Owen near him with needles again.

'If you want to stay healthy, yes,' Ianto replied in a tone that dared the Jack to argue. If Jack wasn't going to help himself, Ianto would have to do it for him. He didn't particularly like the idea of watching Jack starve himself to death as the team struggled to find an answer, and Ianto decided he'd have to take charge of the man's health in the meantime. Thankfully, instead of the expected argument, all Jack did was smile gratefully. He looked too tired to argue anyway.

'Sir, yes Sir.' Jack saluted stiffly, but with a smile on his face. 'Thank you. What would I do without you?'

'Wither and die more often than you should,' Ianto replied dryly, drawing another smile. 'I've got you to thank for still being here, after all. It's the least I can do.'

'You're not going anywhere anytime soon, Jones-Ianto-Jones, not if I can help it.'

Ianto inclined his head briefly. 'I'll leave you to it. Owen will be up shortly.' He exited as swiftly as he could get away with, stopping for a moment outside the closed office door to take a couple of deep, composing breaths.

Oh, I'm in trouble, he thought again, before descending the stairs back into the main Hub.


	8. Prehistoric Pest Control

**A/N –** Well, I've been busted. Someone's already figured out my ending, so I'm kinda sad about writing the rest of this now because they're probably going to be a bit disappointed. It's not so much a plot hole as...well, the plot! So I hope it doesn't look like I've nicked the idea as I've already written it. Oh well, hope you enjoy it anyway. To be honest, the entire main story is actually just a sideline for me personally, as the important part for me has been about the interaction between Ianto and Jack as a follow up to 'Can't You See Them?' rather than as a plot-heavy standalone. It's these interactions that interest me, so hopefully knowing the ultimate ending won't ruin it for you. You know who you are! x

Much love to you all for reading, especially my reviewers. You're all lovely.** xGhostfishx**

**Loss Of Sensation**

Chapter Eight -

Prehistoric Pest Control

'Myfanwy, _no_!'

The angry shout roused Jack from his latest brooding session, bringing him swiftly from his office and skidding to a halt against the railings that surrounded the staircase by his door. Shouting in the Hub never usually preceded good things, but in this case as he realized what was going on, Jack couldn't help but grin at the sight before him.

Consciously forcing a hand to grip the railings, he descended the metal staircase, watching each foot move from step to step and glancing up every few seconds into the main body of the Hub to check he wasn't missing the action. He still found that the stairs were the worst part of his current predicament, he had to keep an eye on every move he made to avoid a tumble.

Jack reached the bottom safely and his grin widened further at the scene before him.

The Hub was in a state of unmitigated chaos. Ianto was at the centre of it, running round the base of the water tower, jacketless, shirt partly untucked, tie askew, sweating visibly. He must have been running this mini marathon for quite a while to work up such a sweat, Jack thought, as the temperature of the Hub wasn't exactly cozy. Jack had plenty of happy memories of Ianto being disheveled and sweaty, but this was different. This was..._hilarious_.

The reason for it all was obvious as Ianto currently had his eyes trained not on Jack, but on his very own favorite non-human member of Torchwood Three. Owen had his Weevils, Tosh had her cheepy desktop thing, Gwen had her teddy and Jack had a prospective T.A.R.D.I.S.

Ianto had a dinosaur.

Myfanwy was soaring around the Hub, dipping and swooping between beams and struts, circling the water tower and occasionally skimming the desks with the tips of her enormous wings. The entire main floor was a mess of paper, folders, cups, in fact anything that hadn't previously been physically attached to or sitting on something else was scattered haphazardly over the floor. Myfanwy was punctuating her steady destruction by squawking in her ear splitting fashion, muffled by something unidentifiable and dark clutched in her long beak. Ianto was waving his arms uselessly at her whenever she came close to him, holding something that looked like a large piece of pink steak in his outstretched hand.

The wayward pterodactyl was having none of it though, clearly enjoying all the attention. It wasn't often she had someone to play with after all, and she was intent on making the most of it. Jack had never been entirely sure why Ianto was quite so enamored with the beast. He had the feeling that if cat flaps came in pterodactyl size, Ianto would actually take Myfanwy home with him.

'Myfanwy, _stop it_! You're a disgrace to the Jurassic period! Give it _back_!' Ianto was pleading in an angry voice, trying to assert authority over a scaly bird six times his size while ridiculously waving the steak.

Jack reached out and grabbed the Welshman as he shot past for the fourth time, halting Ianto in his tracks and only just avoiding a slap from the flailing piece of raw meat. With a lot of concentration, Jack maintained the grip on Ianto's arm in numb fingers as Myfanwy perched on a high beam for a moment, cocking her head sideways in order to eye up the next move of her loud new toy.

'Woah boy, what is going on?' Jack asked the panting figure as he slid to a halt before him. Ianto was flushed, red heat staining his cheeks, and he looked exhausted. He leaned over, hands on his knees, seemingly oblivious to the stain he made on his trouser leg with the meat.

'She's taken my jacket, sir. It's freezing outside, I need it,' he gasped.

Jack stifled a laugh with great difficulty, putting on a mock serious face. 'Really?' Unfortunately he couldn't quite prevent his voice cracking, but pulled himself together quickly, suddenly feeling very small under the very unamused glare he received from under Ianto's eyebrows. 'Well, we can't have that, can we?'

Jack looked up at the perching shadow above, mostly because Ianto's red, angry face made it very hard not to laugh. He whistled shrilly, a sound that bounced painfully off the walls. 'Oi! Bring his jacket back you prehistoric menace! It'll never fit you anyway.'

Ianto stood up and rolled his eyes in despair, knowing the Captain wasn't taking this seriously at all. 'This _isn't funny_, sir! That jacket was expensive, it's my favorite! And now it's got pterodactyl dribble all over it!'

'Do pterodactyls dribble?' Jack asked, assuming he was raising an eyebrow.

'This one does, especially over good tailoring.'

With that, Ianto turned and slumped on the sofa, feet propped up on the cluttered coffee table that he had not yet had time to clear, arms folded over his chest like a petulant child. The sulky face of the secretary only served to amuse Jack even further.

'Maybe she just likes your style?' Jack managed, only just controlling his voice as he watched the grumpy secratary.

'Oh, sure. My style will now be lightly nibbled and damp at the edges,' Ianto snapped sarcastically. He looked up, caught Jack's eye, and they both burst out laughing.

Chest heaving with the effort, Jack roared with laughter as he sank down on the battered brown sofa with his now hysterical employee. Ianto had tears running down his face and was hitching breaths in between guffaws.

Myfanwy swooped down from her beam to the railing outside Jack's office, wondering why her toy was no longer chasing her, and why there was so little of the usual sauce on her mouthful of prize. She watched silently as the giggling pair fought to regain some kind of control over themselves.

After several minutes of descending into laughter every time they caught each other's eye. Ianto held up his hands in defeat. 'Oh...god... stop, stop it...I can't breath...seriously...'

Jack reached over and rubbed his hand on Ianto's back in a vain attempt at helping, even though the feel of the soft cloth of the man's shirt beneath his fingers was a lost sensation. He coughed and breathed deeply, desperate for oxygen.

'I can't feel it, but I'm sure I'm having a heart attack,' he gasped, giggling again.

'Well, don't expect me to give you mouth to mouth, I've no oxygen left,' Ianto replied, puffing out his cheeks and wiping his shirtsleeve across his face, which was damp from sweat and now tears. 'I haven't laughed like that in ages.'

Jack grinned. 'I've not _seen_ you laugh like that in ages.'

Myfanwy screeched loudly again, demanding more attention, and landed with an almighty thud on Owen's desk. The computer crumpled to components under her claws, and the legs of the workstation groaned with the effort of holding up the dinosaur.

Ianto gazed at her thoughtfully, leaning forward, elbows on his knees. He'd obviously given up on the chase. 'Feels good. Laughing, I mean.'

Jack offered a half smile as the Welshman looked round at him. 'That's loss of control for you. Usually feels fantastic.'

The cheeky grin was lost on Ianto, who was still facing forward. 'I don't like losing control.'

'I guess not. Not really one for letting yourself go, are you Jones?'

Ianto smiled and shook his head. 'Not really. Last time I really let myself go I ended up nearly shooting myself.'

The mood was suddenly sober to Ianto's regret. He'd meant it to just be a passing comment, his usual dry humour, but the words cast a cloud over the comfortable scene. He met Jack's eyes, which were dark and solemn, regarding Ianto with a mixture of sympathy and understanding. Ianto would have felt patronized if he believed Jack was capable of it, but as it was the look gave him that same cared for sensation that he'd been experiencing more and more recently.

'Sorry. I shouldn't mention it.'

Jack shook his head, placing a hand on Ianto's arm. 'Of course you should. Burying things is what got you into that whole mess in the first place. Don't start repressing again now, not when you're doing so well.'

Ianto raised an eyebrow, glancing up at the pterodactyl as she flapped across to the other side of the Hub. She dropped the jacket and started turning it over and over with her sharp beak. 'Am I, though? Sometimes I feel like I could slip back into it, any moment. It's still there you know. They still come back sometimes. I don't want them to pull me in again.'

Though he had no idea he was doing it, Jack's hand tightened. 'You won't. I won't let you, and I don't think you'd let yourself.'

'How can you know that? How can you trust me?'

Jack sighed. 'Ianto, do you want to die?'

'No!'

'Then there's your answer,' Jack said softly. 'If you had really wanted out of this life then you would have left here after we'd finished checking you out and you'd have done it for real. You'd have tried again.

'But you didn't. You stayed here. You recovered, and you're still recovering. The shadows...shapes...whatever you want to call them - they may never go away completely because they are a part of you. Always were. But _you_ are in control, Ianto. _That's_ what counts. You stuck at it. You didn't give up and you refused to let us Retcon you. You're still here, catching aliens, making the best coffee known to man and getting mugged by a dinosaur.'

Ianto grinned despite himself, staring at his shoes.

'And you can still smile,' Jack added. 'Never underestimate the power of that. A dashing smile can get you out of all sorts of tricky situations, trust me.'

'I don't doubt it, sir,' Ianto murmured, watching as Myfanwy, bored now that her toy was busy chatting, hauled her massive frame into flight once more and climbed back towards her nest, jacket still flapping in her beak. 'What about her?' Ianto said, eyes tracing the path of the scaly thief. 'Think I should report her?'

Jack pursed his lips and nodded stiffly. 'Absolutely. Call the cops right now.'

'It's theft, pure and simple.'

'I agree.' Jack took on a deeper tone of voice in a parody of authority coupled with an atrocious Welsh accent. 'Could you describe the assailant, sir?'

'About seven foot in height, twenty in width. Dark green, long nose, likes finely tailored menswear.'

'Any distinguishing features?'

'Yes, she's a pterodactyl.'

'She? I see, so it's women trouble, is it sir?'

'Oh, constantly.'

It was too much, and the pair disintegrated into giggles again. Ianto fell back onto the sofa, one hand clutching at Jack and leaning into the warmth of the other man, fighting asphyxiation once more. Jack howled, his head leaning on Ianto's shoulder.

They looked up simultaneously and found themselves suddenly very close, gazing at each other. Jack could see the sudden trepidation in the young man's blue eyes, and Ianto picked up on the matching uncertainty in the eyes of the Captain, but it didn't stop either of them from closing the gap, arms tangling round each other as they lost themselves in the kiss.

It was wonderful and tragic at the same time, as Ianto knew Jack couldn't feel one moment of it. Couldn't feel what Ianto felt, the need for this to carry on forever. Ianto didn't care if it was wrong, or too soon, or too much. All he knew is that he wanted this. How ironic that he change his mind at such an inopportune moment. It was bizarre to be so intimate with someone and yet feel nothing from them.

Jack pulled away first, his face desperate, confirming what Ianto already knew. 'I hate this. I can't _feel_ any of it. I need to feel you, Ianto, I can't stand this!'

Ianto held Jack's face in his palms, trying to calm the irate American. 'It'll be okay. There has to be a way...'

He was cut off suddenly as the world went black.

Ianto was struck by a momentary panic before he realized what had happened. With a roar of indignation, he grabbed at the damp, smelly jacket that Myfanwy had chosen at that moment to deposit on the heads of the pair, threw it away from them and stood up, looking furiously at the circling creature.

'That's _it_! That is _it_, Myfanwy! I've had it, _no_ chocolate for you for a week! You got that? _Not one piece_!' Ianto grabbed the abandoned steak from the floor by the couch and hurled it overarm at the screeching animal in a very impressive throw. The raw meat narrowly missed its target and hit the wall on the opposite side of the Hub, slithering down and leaving a twenty foot grease stain on the wall.

Ianto turned back round, his livid face bright red once more, and found Jack unsuccessfully stifling laughter once more.

'Why a pterodactyl? Why couldn't I have brought you an alien version of a kitten instead?' Ianto demanded rhetorically, swiping the coat from the floor and holding it with his fingertips as he marched off, nose wrinkled in disgust.

Jack watched Ianto disappear round the corner before he allowed the giggles out again, echoing around the Hub.

After finally giving up on his tattered jacket, Ianto sadly committed the garment to the rubbish bin and flicked the coffee machine on. Lamenting quietly over the lost jacket (it really had been one of his favorites), he poured himself a cup, added to it a glass of water for Jack, and made his way up to the main office. His mind wandered back to the kiss again as it had been doing every few moments since it had happened. Ianto had not missed the irony of the situation, that being his developing feelings at the same time as Jack being able to feel nothing at all. He smiled grimly to himself. Fate certainly had a sense of mischief about it, that was for sure.

His knock once he reached the Captain's door was met with silence, so he worked the handle open with his elbow and slid inside. He was surprised to see that Jack actually was there, and horrified a moment later when it dawned on him what the Jack was doing.

Jack's sleeve was rolled up to the elbow of his right arm, and the skin was split open, covered in blood. In Jack's left hand was a knife, one that looked like a bayonet and which could well have come from the personal store of stuff that Jack kept in his office. He'd cut his own arm, dead up the centre, and was staring grimly at the deep wound.

Ianto slammed both mug and glass down on the desk and dropped down in front of Jack, eyes wide, instantly reaching for what looked like a crumpled t-shirt to press against the gaping cut. 'Jack, what the _hell_ have you done?' he shouted, half angry, half fearful.

Jack looked at him as if he were mad. 'Ianto it's fine, it'll heal in a couple of minutes.'

To no avail though, the Welshman was frantically pressing against the cut and not really listening. Jack put the knife down on the desk. Taking Ianto's chin in his free hand, he tilting the frantic face up to look at him. 'Ianto! Listen to me, _stop it_! It will be fine. I didn't mean to scare you, I just wanted to test it.'

Ianto pulled the bloodstained t-shirt away and watched as the skin slowly, almost imperceptibly, started to seal itself back up. It made him feel sick just as it had done when he'd watched Jack's needle punctures heal, the sight was so unnatural. He looked back up at Jack again, allowing anger to cloud his face instead as a ploy to mask the now fading panic.

'Don't do that again!' he snapped stupidly. 'You scared the shit out of me!'

'You called me Jack.'

'What?'

'You hardly ever call me Jack anymore, you know.'

'What has..._never mind that_! What were you _doing_?' Ianto demanded, dropping into the seat opposite the Captain and swallowing a large mouthful of coffee to calm his shaking nerves. Of all the things he'd expected to walk in on, Jack with a knife in his arm wasn't near the top of the list. The coffee burned his mouth as he forced it down, trying to quell the nauseous feeling in his stomach.

Jack flexed his healing arm, which now bore nothing more than a red mark. 'I needed to see if I could feel it. Nobody had actually tried hurting me yet, so I thought I'd give it a try.'

'Didn't you realize that when Owen was sticking needles the size of pencils in you?'

Jack blinked, as if that had never even occurred to him. 'No. I guess not. That wouldn't have been actual _hurting_ though would it?'

'Did you _see_ the size of the needle? Did you see Owen's face?' Ianto pointed out.

'Hmm. I wanted a proper wound though. More...manly that way,' Jack grinned, trying to cheer Ianto up.

It wasn't working. 'So you thought you'd slash up the most convenient vein?' Ianto snapped back, unable to keep the tremor out of his voice.

Jack looked suitably ashamed of himself, although a twinkle of amusement at the reaction of his secretary remained. 'Sorry. I had to try.'

'And?' Ianto kept his eyes steadily on Jack.

Jack shook his head. 'Nothing. Zip. Not a thing. Same as when you kissed me, although I can only assume this would be far less pleasurable.'

Ianto breathed in deeply, then out again. Jack's defiance of mortality still freaked him out slightly, no matter how many times he saw the hurt-and-heal process he couldn't get used to it. It was at times like this that it was most obvious just how different Jack was from everyone else.

Jack was gazing solemnly at Ianto, serious now. Now he'd done it, now he'd actually caused a fairly major injury to himself and felt nothing, Jack was back at square one. Ianto could see the despair in the other man's eyes, and realized that Jack would have to be pretty desperate to go this far. He was far more depressed than any of them had thought.

'What am I going to do?' Jack asked quietly, eyes begging for an answer, _any_ answer.

But answers were as difficult to catch as rampaging airborne dinosaurs, it seemed. Ianto stared at Jack for a moment, but could only shake his head slightly. There was nothing he could say.


	9. A Touch of Deja Vu

**A/N** Apologies for the length of time it's taken me to get back to this. Real life has a habit of taking over, so I've not had the time to carry on recently. Hopefully that will change, and I hope you enjoy this next part. Thank you to everyone reading, and don't forget – for all of you who requested the sequel, this is dedicated to you! Enjoy, concrit and reviews welcome as always.** xxGhostfishxx**

**Loss Of Sensation**

Chapter Nine -

A Touch of Deja Vu

Two long days later and the team were gathered around the conference table, Tosh at the head of it by the main screen. There was a light in her eyes that suggested she had discovered something important, the hastily called meeting being the consequence.

Little had happened on the subject of Jack since Tosh's original discovery of the dust on the CCTV, the case dwindling down to just her working on it while the others, through lack of any leads to follow, had busied themselves with the usual call outs and alarms. It wasn't that they didn't want to find an answer, but there was so little to go on that they had come to a standstill. And of course, universal alien activity did not pause for anyone, not even the enigma that was Captain Jack Harkness.

Ianto was sitting neatly at the conference table in his usual place next to Owen, who conversely looked rather rough, even by his standards. The first thing he'd requested upon entering the Hub that morning had been four paracetamol and a duvet, to which Ianto had replied that if he wanted a duvet he'd have to nip down and share with Jack, who had not yet emerged. Owen had grimaced, holding his head and downgrading his request to just the drugs and a black coffee before collapsing into his seat. Strange that the doctor never seemed to remember the location of the medication that he used most frequently, Ianto had mused as he dug in the cupboards for the requested items.

Now Owen looked grumpy as well as hungover, squinting in the bright lights that glimmered on the polished tabletop. He and Tosh had been in conference together for the past couple of hours down in the mortuary pit whilst Gwen and Ianto had continued the developing trend of tiptoeing around the Captain.

Jack's mood had taken a serious turn for the worse over the past twenty-four hours. Not even Ianto's dry wit could perk him up now, and as it was, Jack had been avoiding the confused Welshman as best he could. This was no mean feat, seeing as Ianto had spent little more than a couple of hours away from the Hub since Jack had lost the ability to feel, but somehow the American managed to hide away from them all with an ease that said he knew far more about the architectural secrets of the Hub than any of his team.

Ianto didn't like the silence. Not only was it unusual for the Hub to be so lifeless, it was also a sign that Jack was sinking further into depression, a state of mind that didn't suit the usually chirpy head of Torchwood. At least before he'd been willing to tell them how pissed off he was, driving everyone mad with his complaining, but now any questions that were not related to general Torchwood business were either ignored or met with a stony silence. He simply refused to talk properly, not to Ianto, not to anyone.

Though Jack was there in spirit when the rest of the team went out to follow up a Rift alarm or a reported problem, he wouldn't come out with them, preferring to stay in the Hub. He could just about run the computers from there, but quite rightly pointed out that he was an uncoordinated liability in the field as he couldn't even shoot a gun straight. Ianto and Gwen had gone searching for Jack the previous morning, and had found him swearing spectacularly at a handgun he'd been practising with in the underground range. A quick glance at the target told the two spies everything they needed to know about Jack's aim. The gun had clearly been fired several times, the air sharp with residual smoke, but the weevil-shaped target had not a mark on it. Ianto and Gwen had snuck back up to the Hub without being noticed, leaving the cussing Captain to it.

However useful he may be back at base though, Ianto could tell that Jack was bored stiff, itching to go out and fight the fight and incredibly frustrated at his lack of ability to do so. He was slipping away slowly, bit by bit, becoming a shadow of the Captain Jack Harkness who usually occupied the Hub.

Ianto flicked his gaze to the opposing head of the conference table where Jack sat with his arms folded, watching Tosh steadily. It was the first time Ianto had seen him in person that day, having only caught glimpses of the man on the CCTV as he skulked around in the vaults. Lord knew what he was doing down there, but as he wasn't upstairs shouting at them for a change the team had decided to leave him to it.

Now though, his full attention was on the resident genius.

'So, I've been thinking about it,' Tosh was saying, pacing up and down, seeming to be addressing herself than the rest of them as she tended to do, organizing a train of thought. 'And I think I've come up with something. Owen agrees with me.'

'Yeah, in theory,' Owen murmured, drawing a sharp look from Jack.

'Get to the point, Tosh,' Jack said irritably.

Tosh beamed at him, apparently unaffected by the snappy manner. 'I think it was a weapon.'

'A weapon?' Gwen asked curiously, a frown on her face.

Tosh nodded enthusiastically. 'Yes. A very pretty weapon, granted, but a weapon all the same. Like a grenade, almost. I think it may have been used to lure an attacker in using that little light show, and then it would explode and render them powerless by removing all touch sense.'

'But...why not just explode like a normal bomb?' Gwen asked, regarding Tosh with interest. 'Surely if you want to kill someone off like that, that's the simplest way?'

'That's what I thought at first, it makes no sense,' Tosh agreed. 'But what if it's not designed to kill?'

Gwen leant her chin on her hand, a frown creasing her pale forehead. 'A weapon with no intention of killing its victim? I'm sorry, I don't get it.'

'I think I do,' Ianto muttered darkly. The rest of the team looked at him, and on lifting his gaze from his linked hands on the tabletop, Ianto blinked, as if surprised he had spoken out loud, and explained his train of thought. 'Maybe whoever owns the thing just likes their food really fresh.'

'What?' Gwen asked her frown deepening.

Ianto raised an eyebrow. 'Think about it. You lure someone in with the shiny lights, they pick it up. It explodes and leaves them confused, defenceless, but it doesn't damage the prey. Doesn't damage the meat. It all makes for a good, fresh meal, probably carved up while the victim is still alive. An easy job because they can feel nothing. No struggling, no fuss.'

Gwen was now staring at her colleague, a look of pure disgust on her face. Ianto couldn't help an internal grin. Even with everything they saw each day, all the things that were so out of the ordinary that they could drive you mad if you thought about them too much, it was still satisfying to know that the team could be shocked by the observation of a mere human.

'Beautifully put,' Owen said, voice dripping with sarcasm. 'You are one sick man, Jones.'

'Is that your theory?' Ianto asked, ignoring the doctor and looking up at Tosh.

Tosh nodded. 'Yes. I suppose whoever uses the device could use it on animals, or the alien equivalent of animals, but it is quite conceivable that they use it to hunt other members of their own species too. There are probably cannibals in every species. We know there certainly are in the human race.'

The team lapsed into silence for a moment, each lost in the memory of their own experience in Brecon Beacons for a moment before Gwen broke the silence.

'If what you say is true, it seemed rather discerning for a bomb, didn't it? It was perfectly happy with you Tosh, so why did it object to Jack? How does a machine pick a target?'

Tosh looked delighted, as if she'd expected the question. 'This is the other thing. I think it may have been partially sentient. Some sort of bio-mechanics that I can't quite get my head around yet. It may have been trained to an extent by the owner, they probably have loads of them because obviously they explode all the time. Once they're trained not to detonate at the touch of the owner, they can then tell the difference between the owner and a target. Like someone who trains dogs for the hunt: the dogs know what to attack but to leave their owner alone. Discern friend from foe.'

'Or good meat from bad,' Ianto added, biting back a smile once more.

'Alright, you're going to have to stop that now,' Owen said, directing a suspicious look at the secretary. 'There's something very wrong with you mate.'

Ianto smiled wickedly at the doctor, an expression very different from his usual almost-smile.

'Sorry. Too many horror film marathons when I was a teenager.'

'No wonder you're such a freak.'

'This from the embodiment of normality himself.'

'Don't you have coffee to make?'

'Don't you have a cactus to water?'

'_Enough_!' Jack said authoritatively, cutting off the bickering pair who immediately looked contrite under the aggressive rebuke. Attention now turned to Jack, who was looking thoughtful now rather than annoyed. He'd been listening in silence until that point, and Tosh actually looked startled at the sound of his voice. 'So we have a theory,' Jack continued. 'Question is, how did it decide that I was dangerous and not you then?' he asked, directing the question to Tosh.

Owen piped up again at that point. 'Maybe because you've travelled in time. Maybe because you're in the wrong era, have the wrong DNA sequence or something similar. You're _weird_, Jack, and you know it. Either way, it saw you as a decent meal and as it had already latched onto Tosh at that point it did its thing and..._bam_.' Owen made an exploding motion with his fingers. 'Kebabs all round. You really should have eaten him Tosh, your toy exploded him just for you.'

Jack directed a look so full of threat that Owen visibly winced, shutting up immediately.

'The question now is can we reverse it?' Gwen interjected, sensing the tension in the air.

Tosh was now chewing her bottom lip, eyes fixed blankly on the table as she lost herself in thought. 'It's as if what was absorbed into you has created a sort of anaesthetic. I'd originally thought it would wear off like a traditional anaesthetic, but apparently not.' She looked at Jack apologetically.

'So we still have no idea,' Jack said dully.

Tosh glanced at Owen, the look passing between them suggesting the complete opposite to what Jack had just said. It was obvious enough for the Captain to pick up on.

'What?' he demanded, a spark of hope in his eyes.

'You won't like it,' Owen said, shaking his head as if he knew he were going to get shouted at.

'Just tell me! What?'

Owen scratched the back of his neck, looking very uncomfortable. He glanced at Tosh before looking back at Jack. 'Er...we have a theory...'

Jack stood up suddenly, clearly irritated now as he slammed his hands on the table. 'Harper! Enough theory! Tell me _now_!'

'Alright, alright!' the doctor said quickly. 'We think you might have to die. Again.'

All eyes were on Jack, awaiting the reaction. Jack just blinked.

'That's it?'

Owen shrugged in response. 'It's the only thing we can think of. Nothing about your bloods is abnormal, none of the tests I did on you show anything. Like I said at the time, I don't think it's a physical thing I can treat. But you seem to heal completely when you die, so we figured that maybe it would work on this. And it's not like you'd feel it or anything...'

Jack stared at him for a moment. Then, straightening up, his face broke into a wide smile, the first he'd shown the team in days now. 'I thought you were going to tell me something a lot worse than that.'

'It's not a good thing though, is it?' Tosh said, hugging herself as if the mere thought made her feel ill.

'Are you sure it'll work?' Jack asked Tosh, arms crossed over his chest, a frown on his face. 'I mean, I tried cutting myself up a bit, and it healed obviously. But I still can't feel anything where the new skin is.'

'There's no way of knowing for sure,' Tosh shrugged. 'But it's the best solution we can come up with.'

'Well, it's not what I was expecting but it's simple enough,' Jack shrugged, eyes brighter then they'd been in days. 'No problem.'

'Need any volunteers to do it for you?' Owen asked, a bright grin on his face. 'After the mood you've been in all week I'll bet there's four willing ones right here.'

Jack gave Owen an I-am-not-amused look, his voice loaded with sarcasm. 'I'll just fetch the singularity scalpel then, shall I?'

Owen shrugged, refusing to be deterred. 'I was thinking more along the lines of shoving you in with the Weevils for a while.'

'This is sick, stop it!' Tosh protested as Owen and Jack started bantering about different ways of doing it, each of them more unlikely than the last.

'Parachute accident?' Owen suggested.

'Nah, too many witnesses. In front of a train, _whack_!' Jack smacked one hand into the other. 'Not done that yet.'

'You'll cause havoc with British Rail, they're bad enough as is,' Gwen said, obviously enjoying the sudden return to form of her boss.

Ianto listened to all this in silence. His hands were suddenly very cold, as if he weren't getting enough blood to his extremities, and an all-too familiar knot in his stomach tightened with every flippant suggestion as the rest of the team remained oblivious.

The knot was like an old friend, comprised of the same anger and pain he'd felt all those months ago. Rage at the lack of consideration sometimes shown by Torchwood Three. He couldn't ask them never to talk about death, the very nature of their work involved death at almost every turn. But a little tact on the subject of suicide - was that too much to ask for? Ianto glared at his hands so as not to betray his feelings to the happy group opposite. They were treating it as if it were a joke, as if it meant nothing.

Ianto didn't realize Jack was staring at him until he looked up from his hands, now clenched into fists so tight that his knuckles had gone white. Jack had seen the expression on the younger man from across the room, had sensed it before he saw it, even. Usually Jack would have picked up on the sudden dark turn of emotion emanating from Ianto, however as that ability was lost to him at the present time, it had been more about recognizing the sudden silence that surrounded the only member of the team left sitting.

Jack crossed the room, leaving the other three chattering away for a moment, and leant on the table by the prone Welshman. He spoke quietly so as to remain unnoticed at the other end of the table.

'Ianto.'

'Sir?' The tone was normal enough, but Ianto didn't look up.

'You okay?'

'Fine, sir. Thank you. If we're done here I'm going to get on with some work, if you don't mind.' Ianto realized he was babbling slightly, but he didn't care. He'd managed to force a light tone into his voice. The last place he wanted to make a scene was in front of everyone, but the need to get out of the room and be alone had suddenly become unbearable. Owen called Jack back over, and with a concerned look at Ianto, Jack reluctantly rejoined the small group.

Ianto swallowed heavily, trying to compose himself, and, as the others were talking about the logistics of it all, he managed to leave the table and slip away to the relative peace of the archives.

Leaning on a battered filing cabinet labelled '_Misc – Biological_', Ianto breathed in and out deeply a couple of times. His head felt heavy, and where the air in the conference room had been oppressive, the atmosphere in the archives was musty and still. There was something comforting about the place, tall shelves full of information, huge vaulted rooms and small locked boxes, row upon row of filing cabinets. Quiet order that was always reliable. It offered a security that allowed Ianto to think.

The irony of it, the man that had more or less saved Ianto from making a huge, fatal mistake by burying a bullet in his skull was the same man now casually talking about his own suicide. It was different, he _knew_ it was different. One of those rare occasions where taking your life really might be the only solution. Ianto was aware of how illogical he was being, and he could hardly compare his situation to that of Jack, but he still felt that the whole scenario was cutting a little too close to home.

Much as he hated to admit it, Ianto was far from recovered. He was making a slow, steady journey, and a successful one so far, but everything he had felt that had led him to breaking point before was still only just beneath the surface, Such flippant conversation on the subject of suicide, though merely a practical solution for the current problem, was still a sensitive topic for Ianto have to face.

'Hey.'

Jumping at the sound of another voice in the echo-y void of the archives, Ianto turned quickly and cast a startled glance at the speaker. Apparently his facade of being fine was as transparent as it usually was. Jack was standing there leaning against a cabinet, arms folded, regarding the younger man with a look of suspicious concern.

Composing himself immediately, the well practised mask slipping into place, Ianto forced a smile. 'Of course sir, why wouldn't I be?'

'Don't bullshit me Ianto, it doesn't suit you,' Jack said, the suspicion turning to a much harder stare from under a furrowed brow. 'You don't like this plan, do you?'

'Is it any wonder?' Ianto said tiredly, dropping the façade immediately. His days of hiding behind it were over, he'd come to realise, especially in front of Jack, but it was an automatic defence system he had yet to disable completely. 'I know it's selfish, but people nonchalantly talking about killing themselves makes...makes me...fuck, I don't know. It's just weird, that's all.'

Jack nodded. 'I understand. But this is different, Ianto, you know that.'

Ianto sighed heavily and rubbed his eyes. Of course it was different. Of course Jack would come back, it would be fine. Ianto knew that, sure as the tide came in every day in Cardiff Bay. But aside from his obvious personal issues around the subject of suicide, there was always that fear in Ianto's mind, that tiny, _tiny_ chance that Jack would one day use up his limit and check out for good. It bothered Ianto every single time the Captain was maimed or killed in the line of duty, and had dome since he had first found out that Jack was apparently invincible. He'd been convinced that Jack's time had been up after he'd taken on Abbadon, the demon sucking years of life force out of the man and leaving him dead for days. Once again though Jack had seemingly thwarted the laws of the universe itself by dragging himself back to the living.

But this was the nature of life in the presence of Jack Harkness. It was all about the risk, the danger, and of course the death. That would never change, Torchwood would never change and Jack would never change either. It was something they all had to accept in order to do their jobs.

'You once told me that death is not the answer,' Ianto murmured, recalling a long-passed conversation with a small smile.

Jack's mouth twitched, obviously fighting a smile himself. 'Yeah, and what was it you said? Ah, yes.' He suddenly imitated a Welsh accent, a talent that apparently did not improve as time went on as it was as bad as ever. 'How would you know? You always come back!' Jack grinned at Ianto. 'Your own words, Ianto. It will be fine.'

Ianto glared, unable to join in the humour. 'That's not the point. I _know_ you'll come back. I _know_ it'll probably be fine. But you're all treating it like it's _nothing_.'

Jack's smile faded and he took a step towards Ianto, causing the younger man to flinch involuntarily much to Jack's surprise. Ianto felt a small stab of guilt at the hurt expression on the Captain's face, ashamed about treating the man this way, a man who had helped him so much. But he couldn't help it. He felt beaten down, pathetic in the face of this bravado. Jack remained the embodiment of everything Ianto was not. Strong. Confident. Invincible.

Jack smiled softly. 'You are strong, Ianto. Never doubt that.'

Ianto blinked. 'What? How...what? You heard that?'

'It's written all over your handsome face, kid.'

Ianto looked away, teeth gritted together in annoyance and embarrassment. Why did he have to be so bloody obvious? Could he keep nothing to himself now? He suddenly missed his facade, at least it protected him somewhat from looking a fool.

'Ianto...' Jack sighed, knowing all the jokes in the world wouldn't get through at this point. Now was the time for a little compassion. 'Look, don't worry. It'll be fine, I promise you. You don't even have to be there if you don't want. Just make damn sure you're there when I come back, I'd far rather wake up to you than Owen.'

Ianto dragged his gaze back to Jack, grasping for some kind of self control. He straightened a little. 'When?'

'No time like the present. I can only assume that I'm really, really hungry at this point. I'll be back before you know it. '

Ianto swallowed thickly. 'Okay. How?'

Jack shrugged. 'Gun. Apologies for being a copycat, but it's quick, easy, straight to the point.' He grinned wolfishly, unable to help himself. 'Not unlike the rest of me.'

Ianto managed a berating look. 'Fine. But I do want to be there. You'll need someone to catch you after all.'

'Falling into your arms? How could I resist that?' Jack laughed. Ianto smiled a little, still feeling faintly nauseous but not impervious to his boss's good humour. Jack reached out and put a hand on Ianto's shoulder.

'Come on then kiddo, let's get it over with.'


	10. The Maker And His Match

**A/N – B L U N D E R !**

**Seems I managed to upload completely the wrong chapter ten, well done me! Never mind, here is the correct one, I apologise to all those I confused. Mental note – don't upload at 2am when you cant see straight...**

**This is the final chapter of this story. I hope you like it, and you're not too disappointed by the ending. I'm sorry it has taken so long to put it up, but life is one of those irritating constants that wont leave me alone! I'm hoping to write more stuff soon, but in the meantime thank you to EVERYONE who has taken the time to read, review and just to use this site. Much love to you all.**

**xXGhostfishXx**

*****

**Loss Of Sensation**

Chapter Ten -

The Maker and his Match

Jack had decided that the mortuary was the best place to do the deed, it being the easiest room in the Hub to clear up after blood was spilled after all. Leading a solemn Ianto up from the archives, he had grabbed his service revolver _en route_ – 'Never failed me yet', he quipped – and was now sat on the edge of the mortuary bed.

Gwen had accompanied Jack and Ianto into the pit but, though in favor of the idea, had opted out of watching the event itself. 'I've watched you die too many times already Jack, it doesn't get any easier,' she had said as he hopped up onto the table. 'At least this time I have the choice.' Tosh, who was standing by the railings looking down, had agreed. Despite being able to dispose of bodies of all species without so much as a hair left behind, she too was clearly uncomfortable with watching her boss die. Again.

So with the girls now holed up in the recreation area, Ianto and Owen were left in the cold mortuary pit looking rather uncomfortable, both wanting to but neither able to excuse themselves.

Jack, feet swinging slightly as he perched on the edge of the bed, grinned widely at the pair of them, an expression far cheerier than either of them had seen over the past few days and completely inappropriate given the situation. Ianto had to admire the man, defiant and cheerful right up to every end he met.

'C'mon, stop looking so grim, the pair of you,' Jack said jovially. 'If this doesn't work, it doesn't work. I'll still come back to complain about it. We'll just have to find some other solution before I go completely insane, that's all. No problem.'

'Completely?' Owen questioned. 'There's more?'

'Always,' Jack winked.

Ianto attempted a smile in appreciation of the forced banter, but could feel the emotion stiff on his face despite the reassurances. Though part of him wanted to be as far away from this moment as possible, the need to be there for Jack was stronger. Not just because the man had requested it, but because the part of Ianto that was a control freak wanted to oversee it all, make sure everything went to the rather hastily concocted plan. Ianto didn't doubt Owen's capabilities or talent in any way, but did believe his bedside manner left a lot to be desired.

Exchanging a look with Owen, Ianto met Jack's eyes.

'Are you ready?' he asked, his voice sounding small in the echoing room.

Jack spread his arms briefly, inclining his head. 'Bring it on. And don't worry, I'll see you kids again in a minute.' Jack then looked at Ianto specifically. 'Make sure _he_'- he indicated Owen with a nod of his head- 'doesn't try to dissect me while I'm out.'

Owen opened his mouth to protest, but thought better of it, instead handing Jack the fully loaded gun that had been sitting on an instrument tray. Ianto nodded, allowing a small smile before stepping back as Jack took the gun. His heart was racing all of a sudden, unable to take his eyes from the weapon as Jack checked it himself.

Shoving away the memories that were trying to surface, Ianto forced himself to feel as numb as Jack was, hands clenched by his sides. He could feel it again, his gun in his hand, trigger pulling tight against his fingers. He could smell the leaves around him as he had all those months ago. Ianto shut his eyes for a moment and breathed deeply before looking back at the table.

Jack caught his eye again and winked at him, lifting the gun to his temple. 'Fuck, this is going to hurt,' he murmured before gritting his teeth and pulling the trigger. The bang echoed sharply off the walls of the mortuary, reverberating through the air before dying away to silence. The bullet that split Jack's skull exited and hit the wall opposite, cracking a tile and leaving a red splatter on the white ceramic.

Unable to look away, Ianto saw the second that the life left his Captain's face. The light in his usually animated blue eyes went out immediately he fired the gun, his entire body going limp and flopping down sideways onto the hard surface of the bed with a dull thud. The gun dropped from his boneless hand and clattered to the floor, where Owen quickly retrieved and disarmed it, putting it to one side. Looking rather grey, he checked the body over before looking at Ianto. 'He's dead.'

Ianto looked down at the stopwatch in his hand and realised he had already started it automatically.

Ears ringing in reaction to the sudden noise of the gun, he set about arranging the Captain into a more comfortable looking position on the bed, wanting, _needing_ to do something to while away the long minutes. Laying Jack out properly looked far more dignified than having him rest in an uneven heap. He forced himself to breath slowly, calmly, fighting the panic of memory that threatened to engulf him.

_This could have been me_, Ianto thought to himself dully. So easily, it could have been him, growing cold and stiff in the Torchwood mortuary, another file to add to the backlog. Reduced to mere memory. Ianto's eyes kept flicking back all the while to the small, bloody holes in the side of Jack's head, the entrance wound produced by the bullets of the Webley smaller than the exit. It was difficult to tell if the fatal wound had started to heal yet, and the gnawing knot in Ianto's stomach was a treacherous one. _What if?_ it said in a constant litany. _What if he doesn't come back this time?_

Ianto looked up at Owen, who was standing with his hands in his pockets, face white. It was an odd moment. Ianto had fully expected the doctor to look bored at best, but Owen looked drawn, his gaze also fixed on the body before him. In that moment he seemed very human, not so much the unaffected hard case that he usually liked to portray. He looked up and caught Ianto's eyes, his wide mouth briefly stretching into a smile before disappearing.

'Shouldn't take long,' Owen said in what was supposed to be a reassuring voice. 'Never does when he carks it like this.'

Ianto nodded a little, eyes once more drawn back to the wound. Was it smaller?

'You alright?' Owen asked, surprising Ianto, his voice sounding unnaturally loud in the pit.

'I will be when he gets up,' was the quiet reply.

'Bet this brings back memories.'

Ianto looked sharply at the man but quickly realized that, despite the poorly phrased comment, Owen was actually showing concern in his own, albeit bizarre, way.

'You could say that.'

'Look mate, I know what it's like to watch someone you love die. Difference is that this one will be back any moment now,' Owen said, not quite removing the melancholic tone from his voice. 'Look.' He motioned towards the Captain's head. Sure enough, the holes were slowly starting to close over, the skin almost imperceptibly knitting itself back together. Owen's eyes were alight with fascination as he leaned in closer, watching all the while.

'Amazing,' he mumbled to himself.

Ianto felt his heartbeat quicken as first the entrance wound sealed itself, and then the larger exit wound followed suit. It was strange to watch. The whole thing had the disturbing air of a horror movie abut it, one that plays with your nerves until they stretch tight, waiting for that jump when something finally jumps out at you. Watching as Jack healed, slowly, so very slowly, was the same sort of thing. Ianto knew he'd wake up eventually, he knew it was coming, but he knew it would still scare the crap out of him when it happened.

The whole process from the initial shot to the reduction of the wound to clear skin took exactly thirteen minutes, seven seconds according to the stopwatch ticking away by the head of the bed. Ianto could have sworn he didn't breath at all during this period as the holes became nothing more than dark bruise-like marks on the skin, then faded red smudges. All the while he was watching Jack's face, which remained as lifeless as that of a doll, eyes flat and staring blankly at the high ceiling, skin waxy and dull.

'C'mon Harkness, wake up,' Owen murmured. 'I really need the loo.'

Ianto shot the doctor an unimpressed glare. 'What?' he shrugged in return. 'It's been nearly twenty minutes.'

'Seventeen minutes forty-three, actually'

'I said _nearly_, didn't I?'

'Just be quiet Owen.' Ianto sighed, reaching out again to rearrange Jack's already neatly arranged arm, as if touching him might speed up the process.

_IANTO!_

Shocked, Ianto doubled over slightly as if he'd been punched. His grip on the Captain's arm tightened as the shout engulfed his mind.

Owen stepped forward. 'What? What is it?'

'Did you hear that?'' Ianto gasped. 'Did you?'

'Hear what?'

'I heard him! I heard him shouting at me!'

Owen shook his head, staring at Ianto as if he were crazy. 'You mean Jack? You can hear him? Is this your weird psychic shit again?'

Ianto nodded, eyes stretched wide open. 'He's coming. He's coming.'

A huge, sudden whooshing sound echoed around the tile walls as Jack breathed in violently, eyes going wide and his mouth stretching impossibly far as he gasped in oxygen. Has his face really been so lifeless a second before?

The arm that Ianto still held snapped up and grabbed Ianto around his upper arm, the grip painfully tight. Ianto leapt forward to hold Jack down as he flung his arms out, the momentary panic he always seemed to experience causing him to flail and nearly topple off the bed. The shouting was back again, reverberating around Ianto's head as much as it was the room they were in. Ianto threw his arms over Jack's chest and pinned him down to stop him, and a split second later Jack's eyes locked onto his. He relaxed immediately.

'Welcome back,' Ianto gasped, the relief coursing through him as he gazed down at Jack's now animated face.

Jack blinked and grinned, his fingers on Ianto's arms loosening. 'Hi.'

Ianto felt that last trace of fear filter away as Jack smiled, sheer relief washing through him as he silently thanked whatever twisted logic it was that existed to bring Jack back each time.

'Er...if you two could let go of each other for just one moment?' Owen interrupted. Ianto smiled and stood back a little. He could have told Owen it had worked already, but let the man do his job just the same.

He could _hear_ Jack again, and it was wonderful. Newly regenerated, Jacks guard was down for the moment and Ianto could sense the sheer joy coming off him in waves. Ever since he'd begun to understand what it was that allowed him to read people so effectively, Ianto had managed a controlled restraint on the ability so as it didn't affect him as it had before. But now, just for the moment, he allowed it loose, letting himself revel in Jack's good humour as Owen checked the man over quickly and thoroughly.

'No lasting damage as per usual.' He raised an eyebrow, arms crossed. 'Next question; did it work?'

A mischievous look entered the Captain's eyes and he looked back at Ianto. 'Let's find out shall we?' With that he grabbed Ianto's lapels and hauled him the short distance into a kiss.

Taken by surprise, Ianto was powerless to resist, and if he was honest he probably wouldn't have anyway. He vaguely heard Owen sighing and murmuring 'He's fine,' but was far too distracted to pay much attention. Once again he was completely lost in the sensation of the Captain beneath him, his hands steadying himself against Jack's shoulders. Ianto knew very well that Jack didn't need to do this in order to figure out if he was cured, but in an uncharacteristic display of throwing caution to the wind he allowed himself the moment, reveling in the sensation of Jack's mouth on his.

Ianto had no idea how long they had remained like that, it could have been seconds or days, but eventually his sensible side made him pull away. He had to check, had to hear it in words.

'Jack? Are you alright?' he said breathlessly.

'_Hell_, yes!' Jack hollered, leaping off the bed and towards a startled Owen. 'C'mon Harper there's plenty to go round!' With that he seized the medic and planted a huge kiss on his lips.

Owen shoved him away, wiping his mouth disgustedly but unable to hide the amusement on his face. 'Wonderful. If only all our problems were so easily solved.'

Jack whooped joyously and ran up into the Hub. Ianto and Owen followed and emerged just in time to see Jack plant yet another kiss on a startled Gwen before grabbing Toshiko and flinging her round into a spin, all the time laughing in his deep baritone.

Tosh squealed as he plonked her back down, staggering slightly and straightening her now wonky glasses. She stared at Jack.

'I take it it worked then?'

'Of course it did, my little genius,' Jack grinned, hands on hips, looking ready to take on the world once more. He then started patting himself all over, the joy on his face apparently infectious as the rest of the group felt themselves grinning too. 'Yep, all here, all working.' Then, Jack curled over slightly, arms wrapping round his stomach.

'What?' Owen stepped forward quickly?' 'Jack?'

'Oh my god, I'm hungry,' Jack moaned, realizing the issue. 'Scratch that, I'm _starving_!'

'On it,' Ianto replied, indicating the phone he'd already dialed out from. The clipped tones of the pizza delivery company on the other end confirmed the account number and the delivery time. 'Ten minutes,' he added, hanging up the phone.

'Ten minutes? I'll die of starvation! Someone distract me, quick!'

A shriek bounced off the corroding walls of the Hub as Myfanwy, clearly disturbed by the racket, soared down towards the group. She missed clipping Jack with her wings by mere inches, swooping around the five of them before settling on a handrail on the opposite side of the room. She released a short burst of ticking noises before lapsing into a watchful silence.

'Nice distraction, birdie,' Jack congratulated her. 'Now, where did I put my whiskey?'

'Er, officially I won't advise you drink alcohol after several days without food,' Owen said as Jack leapt up the stairs three at a time to the office.

Jack turned to look at him, one eyebrow raised. 'And unofficially?'

'Bring us a glass would you?'

Jack grinned and disappeared into the office, emerging seconds later with several glasses and a bottle of his favorite malt, usually kept by for celebrations.

*

Three days later, the rift alarm sounded. The location was somewhere along the coast just outside of Swanbridge. Fields and coastline. An empty area.

Jack parked the SUV in the middle of one of the fields, approximately a hundred yards from the location of the alarm, and the Torchwood team, minus Gwen who was full of flu and had remained at the Hub, unfolded themselves from the tight confines of the vehicle awkwardly, stiff from the unnecessarily hectic journey and silently cursing the designated driver. Jack was still celebrating the full use of all of his senses again, which apparently included driving like a psychopath and punctuating every skid with a loud screeching noise like that a child would make when imitating a fast car. He'd brought them all along, citing that they needed to spend more quality time together outside instead of underground. Owen had grumbled something along the lines of quality time in the pub instead of on the job, but Jack had ignored him as usual.

The four made their way slowly across the field, guns drawn in precaution. Whatever it was that Tosh had picked up on was stationary, and had remained so, but it couldn't hurt to be cautious.

Gulls skittered around their heads in the strong gusts coming off the sea, heavy clouds threatening rain. The smell of the water was sharp, and Ianto breathed the clean tang in deeply. Far better than the majority of the Hub, which smelled of damp and Pterodactyl most of the time.

Jack advanced a couple of steps ahead as he usually did, and as the team topped the slight hill they all caught sight of a small, dark shape on the grass.

'Fifty meters, straight in front of you,' Gwen's tinny voice came through the comms.

'Got it in sight, stand by.' Jack clicked off his safety and walked down the hill, a mixture of cautious authority. Tosh's palm pilot was in overdrive, but all scans and search programmes that she was running on the unidentified object were coming up blank.

As they got closer, it became clear that the object was a bag of some kind, brown and made of something that resembled leather, although Tosh confirmed that it was not a type of material that was of earth construction. The bag looked full, and as Jack picked it up, it became apparent that it was heavy. Whatever was inside shifted, and both Owen and Ianto took aim immediately. A faint humming noise was now coming from the bag, muffled by the material.

'Alright boys, calm down,' Jack said, eyes not leaving the bag in his hands for a second. 'I think I just dislodged it, it's not alive.'

'Open it then, lets see what Kinder toy we've got this time,' Owen urged, not dropping his gun.

Jack unhooked the large flap of the bag and pulled it back. From the angle he was at, only he could see into the bag, and as the mild humming became clearer it took on a distinctly familiar tone.

Unable to see into the bag, the three others only had Jacks look of sudden dismay to go on.

'Oh, crap...'

'What? What's in it?' Tosh asked.

Jack threw the bag away and darted off suddenly, running as though the hounds of hell were at his heels.

'_Run_!' he screamed back at them as the bag began making a shrill, continuous sound and vibrating violently. Not needing further encouragement, Tosh, Ianto and Owen all took to their heels and ran back towards the SUV. Ianto felt the adrenaline rush of the sudden need to escape pump through him, not sure what he was scared of but damn sure he wanted to be nowhere near it. He skidded to a stop on the opposite side of the SUV where Jack was cowering, staring wildly back in the direction they had just come from. Tosh and Owen joined them, panting and questioning the Captain.

Before Jack could answer, a whole string of explosions went off from where they'd left the bag, shooting what appeared to be clouds of dust into the clear air. The gulls circling above wheeled away in surprise, squawking their protest.

Ianto blinked as he grasped what it was, catching his breath. 'A whole bag of them?'

Jack nodded, watching as the drifting dust became a thin cloud, then nothing. 'Yup. And they still don't like me.'

'On the contrary, I think they like you a lot,' Owen sniffed, holstering his gun. 'Why else would they keep trying to make Harkness Kebabs out of you?'

Jack raised an eyebrow. 'It's true. Once you've had a taste, you never go back.'

All three of his staff groaned in unison at that. Tosh circumnavigated the car and began to make her way back to the explosion site again cautiously, her PDA held out in front of her. Owen shook his head and joined her, while Ianto and Jack turned to lean back on the car.

Jack eyed his companion with a grin. 'Oh come on, I thought I could count on you to agree with that one.'

Ianto raised an eyebrow. 'I couldn't possibly comment, sir.'

'Is that right?' Jack challenged, fixing Ianto with a look. 'You just wait, Jones-Ianto-Jones. I'll give you something to comment on.'

With a swirl of jacket and a spring in his step, Jack strode down the hill to join Tosh and Owen in their sweep. Ianto watched him and sighed.

'Oh, I'm in trouble,' he murmured to himself, and with a small smile, followed the others down the hill.

_- fin -_


End file.
